Saturday, April 29, 2006

I Know What It Means to be Red, White and Blue

The National Minority Anthem

Catch a hardworking, talented, awesome Entertaining minority by the toe
If he can sing in English
Let him go

A long day in the cotton field
Another bale of hay
Wrong turn down an alley
And the heat's on today
Got to run to catch up
With the Jones

Nobody said you had a free ride
Takin my family, my music, my pride
Into their hands, they took it away so I moved
to the city and here I will stay
Keepin with me the dream of singin my song
If you listen you'll hear me even when I am gone

My public, my passion, my liberty bells
Now the glory crowd gathers, the glitter, the swells
With song all around me
Applauding and new
And I know what it means
to be Red, White, and Blue


The National Anthem in Spanish: Jose Can You See?

I am as American as a ho-ho, but is the recent Spanish National Anthem hoopla anything to take seriously? How does the National Anthem even go? Is it "Oh say can you see" or is it "Jose can you see"? Could be!

I forget.... But let's be honest: The last plausible champion of fluency in English is George W. Bush, and so quite possibly he may finally strike a compromise with all of the millions of marching angry immigrants (scheduled on May 1) to acknowledge that, after all, we are a diverse nation of bluebloods, blacks and migrant workers, ALL with varying degrees of English language mastery.

Below is a link from yesterday's CNN headline news which quotes our commander in chief (and this is a gem):
"I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."

Many Americans, immigrants (legal and illegal) are wondering: "So how come Dubya doesn't have to learn English? As if George W. Bush, the forty-third president of the United States, even knows how to speak English." and
"A few days ago, Dubya denounced the Egyptian resort terrorist bombing as a hay-nee-ous crime. Ya think he actually meant heinous?"


Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Welcome to My Blog

Dear Everyone on My Official Party List,

Welcome to my blog! ( Blogs are such special places, aren't they? I have included a couple of pictures here so that you can visit anytime you want! Whether you want to sit by the fire in the living room (above center) and discuss the latest speech by Al Franken or just stick around for dinner, savoring the finest Spanish paella dish known in the dining room (above right), there will always be a place for you, here at 2Truthy's.

You know, the BEST thing about having a blog is that NOBODY even reads it! Do you know what kind of freedom that brings to Yours Truly?

Not only do I have my blog digs completely to myself, but I can make as much noise about anybody I want and they WON'T ever know!!! Like that asshole FBI guy, O'Malley, from Kentucky, who has been trolling George Clooney's online visitor guestbook, snooping around all the blog postings, and then posting one himself where he diminishes all the guests as,
get this, "desperate housewives." He then proceeds to tell the whole Clooney guest book that they don't have anything better to do, strongly suggesting that the blog visitors are nothing but a bunch of losers!

Who's the loser, O'Malley?
Huh? It's time to open up a can of whoop ass! I'd say that anyone who wears the moniker "FBI" and sits around drinking instant coffee in some sticky, humid room eavesdropping on the phones of old ladies under the guise of the "patriot act" looking for the next shoe bomber is woefully lost....Just what are you and your marshmallow sandwich eating buddies doing by visiting George's blog, anyway? Are you possibly one of those Brokeback guys or what? Well, I have news for you, pal. Clooney is as hetero as they get (right?) and so I think you are looking for love in all the wrong places.

The best thing you can do this Easter, Mr. FBI potatohead, is get yourself one of those Finchville Farm Kentucky hams (, eat the whole damn thing, then eat ANOTHER one, drive yourself down a long, twisty windy backwoods road until you get so carsick you can no longer see straight and find yourself, and your no doubt off road vehicle careening down a jagged, spiral road until you land on the mayor's burnt-out Kentucky bluegrass front lawn and ram right into one of the sixteen rusted out cars parked on it!

So remember, spacefans, that anytime you are invited to visit a blog, always bring a dessert or a fine cabernet and, for Godsake (unlike O'Malley), don't forget to bring your manners!!!!!

And stay tuned for 2Truthy's next gala event (date tba)!