Thursday, December 18, 2008

U.S.Navy to Outsource Naval Duties to China -- Obama




A Mel Toast High Seas Exclusive


For Immediate Release


Beijing (Reuters) The crew of a Chinese ship attacked by Somali pirates said they used “water cannon and bottle rockets” to fight off the attackers before they were rescued.


Chinese government sources confirmed that they would send three ships to Somalia to “kick some black muslim ass” and to prevent further attacks.


Sources also reported that the Chinese Navy had been contacted by U.S. Admiral Michael Mullen, who has gone on record as stating he was “stunned and afraid” by the impressive reach of the ragtag band of brigades, to take over all American military operations on the high seas.


“Those Chinese can really kick some black, muslim ass,” said Admiral Mullen. “Unfortunately” he continued, “to paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, the white man can no longer bear this burden. It has become the yellow man’s burden.”

-2Truthy

4 comments:

Citizen Carrie said...

Seriously, when I saw the Indian Navy go after the Somalians, I couldn't help but think that if the U.S. ever tried to blow the pirates out of the water, there would be a huge public outcry against the US followed by UN Security Council condemnations, etc. The thought really did cross my mind that the US needs to use proxies to attack the High Seas piracy issue.

2Truthy said...

CC, yep. In addition, the U.S. generals have got to be saying "hey, as long as China is making these damn cannons, might as well let them take out a few high seas pirates while we stay home and watch football."

Win/Win, ya 'spose?

Patrick said...

And why is that the U.S. Navy would ever need proxies, one wonders. What is the "Law of the Sea"? On the one hand it seems to favor scavengers with its "finders keepers" clause. On the other, it hampers legitimate self-defense with arcane rules of boarding.

One thing I can't believe is that these huge tankers with their valuable cargo have so little security aboard. 15 or 20 sailors to "guard" a ship the size of three football fields. What the hell? There is something going on here that we mere mortals are not being clued in on. The U.S. Navy certainly has enough firepower to dispatch these awful gnats. Yet it chooses not only to abstain from any "first strike" against these hooligans of the high seas, it whines in public about how "tough" and how "strong" and how "clever" these pirates are. Have we all finally gone down the rabbit hole for good? Perhaps we are just waiting for them to target one of "our" boats. But they are all flagged out of Liberia to avoid taxes, aren't they?

I don't know.

It's all so confusing. But it unnerving to see your own once mighty navy shiver with horror at the specter of men in speed boats with RPGs. It just looks to me like the swift sailing ships of the English taking down the once mighty Spanish Armada. I'm not necessarily blindly waving a flag here. But I do see a skull and crossbones a-flappin' in the breeze.

prezdumas said...

"It just looks to me like the swift sailing ships of the English taking down the once mighty Spanish Armada. I'm not necessarily blindly waving a flag here. But I do see a skull and crossbones a-flappin' in the breeze."

Piracy, man. Piracy. The days of doing things by the book are over. A U.S. Naval assault on these oppressed, scrappy sailors would surly rile even the Chinese.It's not our business to be plundering and looting countries in this far a way hemisphere when the Chinese, Indian and rag-tag upstarts can do it for us?Don't we own them (well ok, maybe not China) anyway?