A Mel Toast High Seas Exclusive
For Immediate Release
Beijing (Reuters) The crew of a Chinese ship attacked by Somali pirates said they used “water cannon and bottle rockets” to fight off the attackers before they were rescued.
Chinese government sources confirmed that they would send three ships to Somalia to “kick some black muslim ass” and to prevent further attacks.
Sources also reported that the Chinese Navy had been contacted by U.S. Admiral Michael Mullen, who has gone on record as stating he was “stunned and afraid” by the impressive reach of the ragtag band of brigades, to take over all American military operations on the high seas.
“Those Chinese can really kick some black, muslim ass,” said Admiral Mullen. “Unfortunately” he continued, “to paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, the white man can no longer bear this burden. It has become the yellow man’s burden.”