Monday, November 16, 2009

China Restricts Obama's T&A from Q&A Town Hall

The Chinese are Funny
POTUS Restricted from doing the 'Bama Bow

For Immediate Release

Beijing – President Obama has arrived on his maiden mission to China, and it quite visibly appears he has established a unique, groundbreaking new rule for greeting foreign kings and emperors from the House of Saud to Japan by first mingling at the zipper region before establishing eye contact in the now outmoded, upright position. Why does he keep doing that? Is Obama subliminally looking for a few misplaced balls that Congress appears to lack by allowing lobbyists and Wall Street to benefit by drowning the rest of us in red ink?

Fearing that Obama  would take his signature brand of sniff test antics with the infamous 'Bama bow to the college youth of China, communist authorities are “more leery of him” than previous US leaders and decided not to broadcast live a 75 minute town hall event with Shanghai University students today. Sources explained that the “charismatic” POTUS has the potential to unnecessarily introduce more “freedoms” to the capitalistic hungry communist youths during the “unscripted event.”

One anonymous LWOH tipster has revealed that the 'Bama bow was indeed hatched in the Oval Office during an all night bender, where party goers observed that positioning his erect body carriage at the waist frees up the nether-regions for manipulating objects, foreign leaders and a “whole host of friends and adversaries alike”, making him highly suitable for any sensitive exchanges while pursing profitable partnerships.

Some argue that with exception of such personal pleasure derived, the 'Bama bow is entirely unnecessary. While China's strategic dictatorship capitalism depends upon the consumption of others – like us -- fluid and creative VAT strategies along with currency manipulation have allowed them unparalleled growth. That's why it's time for the DEADBEAT US to just hit the RESET button...

Let's send China all of our polluting cars to pay off this black hole of a debt, and tell them something like this:

In case you haven't noticed, the US is broke. We have no more money, so just take the damn cars or we'll file for bankruptcy.”

We've already off-loaded all of those beastly and dreadful Humvees, and China and India are making most of our car stock now, anyway. After all, China's protectionist policies allowed them explosive growth while sucking dollars and productive assets out of the US. Now that we are not buying their stuff – not bad stuff, not good stuff --- they're panicking. As for carrot and stick diplomacy, the US does appear to have the stick – but Congress is just not using it. Yet. As for the 'Bama bow? Maybe the president's gestures are meant to signal something. 


1 comment:

"Carpy" Critic said...

Funny, funny. Does China even have any significant demand for U.S.goods right now? Demand would increase and the U.S. trade deficit would shrink by at least forty percent if China would halt its subversion of currency markets. The dollar isn't too cheap, its the yuan, and they know that.