Charlie Sheen Makes Chicago Guest Appearance at International Ad Factory

in the

Coffee Bar Lounge

TODAY

at 

4:00 P.M. 

2Truthy's Happy St. Patrick's Day Happy Hour: Turn Up the Volume!

(Very Special Thanks for Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead)

Happy St. Patrick's Day

The good news is that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.

The bad news is that a few of them slithered their way back into the now “austere” Ireland  to hold government  and corporate seats not just there but all around the globe to deregulate and privatize all sorts of public trusts which have served as timeless cornerstones of civilized society.

With Fukushima up in flames and now a 40-foot section of Highway 1 that fell off into the Pacific Ocean near Big Sur last night, who IS minding the infrastructure?

One way or another, this darkness has got to give.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

-2Truthy

CharlieSheenIT Moves Into Exclusive Moral INTurpitude Dude Lodge

I process humanity with meatpacker's skill. Not to mince words,

I'm the cold-blooded killer of success. I win. You lose. Every time.

What's more, you LOVE it. -c.

tootruthy.blogspot.com

Losing the War on Humor Welcomes CharlieSheenIT

to Exclusive San Francisco Bay Moral INTurpitude Dude Lodge

THE GAY SWAMI “Official” CharlieSheenIT Sobriety Coach

Head Exploding News

Sherman Oaks – After getting sacked for committing egregious acts like “moral turpitude” and “cocaine” as this shocking TMZ report reveals, Twitter sensation CharlieSheenIT suddenly announced today that he is astral projecting north to San Francisco where he'll hang his fedora at Losing the War on Humor. Carlos will join hosts 2Truthy, Mel Toast and THE GAY SWAMI who has offered his (sort of) pro-bono sobriety coaching services for all the blow and Marlboros Charlie can pack in the trunk of his black Mercedes.

Who's behind the move? Non other than His Holiness, THE GAY SWAMI.

Tired and horribly bored with all the camped out camera crews and ex-wives with mere mortal brains hanging around the Sherman Oaks Sober Lodge, the Torpedo of Turpitude is determined to sweat out Alien Truth and seek a higher dimension at the otherworldly San Francisco Bay Moral INTurpitude Dude Lodge. Light years away from the stench of Chuck and the rest of those Warner Brothers Television losers, he will be surrounded by the goddesses, his bookie, Sean Penn, and Shiva the Destroyer among other tiger blood drinking enablers. 

Please welcome Charlie in his pursuit of a Higher Powder. 

He. Is. Winning!

Process that, Loserettes!

-2Truthy

A Valentine Message

(Very Special Thanks to Pepe Le Pew)

"In the good old days, cartoon characters were allowed to smoke."

-Youtube Commenter 

Happy Valentine's Day!

-2Truthy

2Truthy's Happy Friday Dance Hour: Groove Is In The Heart

 (Special Thanks to Dee Lite - Back by Popular Demand) 

2Truthy's Whirlwind Weekly Roundup

Obama Dresses Down Chamber, GOP Congressman Loses Shirt  for Dressing Down on Craigslist, AOL Bags Arianna, Hizzoner Rahm's 4 Letter Word and Mubarak Out

Thumbs Up to President Obama. While Ralph Nader, this country's most formidable consumer and civil rights advocate ripped Obama a new one for his Chamber of Commerce speech on Monday here, (h/t Dandelion Salad) we must applaud the president for giving it the good old college try by prodding those ungrateful, transnational bound American oligarchs who, you know, love lots and lots of heaping government U.S. taxpayer subsidies but could do a WHOLE LOT more to “reform” unsustainable outsourcing and insourcing hiring practices by stopping the influx of cheap labor that discriminates against American citizens:

“As you know, it's not always profitable in the short-term for you to invest in basic research. That's why government has traditionally helped invest in this kind of science, planting the seeds that ultimately grew into technologies from computer chips to the internet." 
 

Obama then explains to these merciless ingrates how the benefits should go to U.S. workers as he appealed to their "spirit of patriotism" and "sense of mutual regard and common obligation" that has carried us before in harder times:

“If the government is going to invest in innovation, that innovation should lead to new jobs and manufacturing on our shores. Now is the time to invest in America." 

Arianna Huffington Sells Out to AOL. Who knew? The author of PIGS AT THE TROUGH knows how to bring home the bacon. Six years after the diva celebrity of pop-politico “progressive” blogozine tabloid journalism hit the nets with her signature Huffington Post, it's about time she cashed in on that thing which rapidly spiraled down into a filthy lucre driven censorship pit. Who cares if she stealthily exploited the Left and lured millions and millions of unwashed, faithful, hopeful, left-leaning, downstairs commenters along with many upstairs bloggers and investigative journalists like Al Giordano who offered up their bloggy goodness FOR FREE who might not be getting a cut of her ba-ba-ba-booty? What – did they think the author of PIGS AT THE TROUGH was The Good Witch of the North or The Easter Bunny or something?

Rahm Emanuel Says He'll Lead Chicago's “New Economy”. And he will because Hizzonner Rahm is the guy who tells it like it fucking IS, bitches! He said “I know Chicago is up to facing the truth”. Aside from his ambitious and worthy plans to clean up crime (code for “the ghetto”), here's the next rare town hall meeting question: What will he truthfully do to clean up the cheap labor lobby and put that 4 Letter Word JOBS thing on rails for educated middle class unemployed/underemployed citizens?

Married GOP Congressman Dude Loses His Shirt (Seat) Over Shirtless Pictures on Craigslist. Since the married, upstate New York Republican Congressman's dirty sexy shirtless photo was allegedly directed at a LADY, this story naturally has less legs. Must have been a slow news week for this one to hit wires, but then, this morning's biggest news to bust the pipes...something about an Egyptian dictator...

Mubarak is OUT! No more Pharaoh Phodder now for millions of Egyptians or let the good times roll!

Happy Friday, Loserettes!

-2Truthy

The High Cost of Incivil Society

Demonizing Public Workers, Expensive Dental Work and Tort  Laws with Teeth

Oh, the morality and social civility! A couple of things:

Stop demonizing public workers. Why is it that the One Big Party of Money's increasing demonization of ordinary public employees like teachers, firefighters, garbage men and other public servants (you know, most of the ones with very few exceptions who DON'T hold Congressional seats) for “public money handouts” and “special treatment” in the form of tenure, pensions, and health care is en vogue but as far as most members of Congress are concerned, it's “hands off our Cadillac health care plans, multiple terms and a golden ticket to K Street on the way out the door”? Meanwhile, A high profile anti-teachers union billionaire (with a high school education) recently asked why teachers should be eligible for tenure while sausage makers are not. Maybe out of touch billionaires like this need to put on their thinking caps to understand that most dedicated public school teachers have invested in advanced degrees and trade off higher salaries working in the more lucrative private sector for a lifetime commitment of extra long hours to the teaching profession with negotiated earlier retirement. Conversely, what is the educational cost of entry and professional prerequisite to the demanding field of sausage making? A couple of mermaid tattoos and a background in car boosting?

Tort Laws are Vital as Dental care is very expensive. Let's take the most recent high profile example of why we need to strengthen consumer protection laws. Anyone who has ever had to undergo complicated and extensive dental work will tell you that no matter how good your health care plan is, dental work is just a token, nominal sprinkling on the cake. As we learn that Congressman Dennis Kucinich had to endure grueling and complicated dental work after chomping down on an olive pit that clearly did not belong in his sandwich, dental emergencies can and do happen, and strong tort laws are vital. Aside from a ridiculously minimal amount per annum for limited work and cleanings, individual, corporate and government sponsored health care plans - even the very best health insurance plans (like the one Congressman Kucinich has, for example) don't cover anywhere near the costs of necessary dental procedures. At least he has a job to afford the cost prohibitive dental work that he unfortunately had to endure, unlike the increasing millions of unemployed educated U.S. citizens kicked to the curb for age discrimination. (h/t Patrick Thibodeau and Sharon Machlis at Computerworld.)

It's Not the Economy, Stupid. It's Your Job!

-2Truthy

AOL (Assholes On Line) Bags HuffPo

Winter Landscape by Jeanette ONeil

“Only the Rich Can Save Us Now.”

-Ralph Nader

HuffPo Finally Finds a Suitor

Our Arianna Huffington is all grown up now, announcing that AOL has bought The Huffington Post. The virtual brass ring of “progressive” media has finally settled on a big, fat suitor as the deal came down on Super Bowl Sunday.

What do we have here? Either an obituary OR a new beginning, where the undisputed doyenne of sensationalist political blogging could turn the corporate AOL brand into an uncensored news outlet that truly benefits the American people by marginalizing the Neo-Frat Boy Corporate State perps instead of the educated American middle class for a change. It could happen.

Let's start with the obituary.

Agenda driven news outlets are typical and as old as Methuselah, but 2005's Huffington Post debut will go down in the history books as revolutionary for incorporating journalists, celebrities, politicians, economists and a slew of corporate sycophants (bloggers) with millions of ordinary people (commenters) in a caste oriented, Victorian UPSTAIRS/DOWNSTAIRS format that would make Gandhi and Dickens both spin in their ethers. The Huffington Post's unique online salon format broke ground by sensationalizing the “far Left” reaction to G.W. Bush's unarguably horrible eight year ride across the U.S. Constitution while jobs for educated Americans were and continue to be sold out to the lowest foreign bidder which HuffPo's agenda driven editors conspicuously omitted. But the blog's ONE everlasting redeeming legacy will forever be known by enormously entertaining commenting plebes like “Moe, Larry and Jesus” and others who burned the online midnight oil as they raged against the machine. All good, all good.

Not to mention the weekly upper left hand column that featured Arianna's undeniably rich essays and insights which really had legs back in the day.

Here is my all-time favorite from the Divine Ms. Stassinopoulos entitled Obama Happens: A Cautionary Tale for Perfect Little Hillarys Everywhere that struts her writing chops, mingling brilliant political insight and a telling touch of sour grapes mash with a whimsical bent for enchanting fairy tale fiction that only the mistress of real girl writing could artfully serve up with such precision and conviction. (Yours truly had commented on this post, but the message today reads “Comments for this entry are currently under maintenance but will be restored soon.” At least they haven't scrubbed the whole post.)

The charismatic and enterprising Arianna Huffington put the “P” in personality and featured wit master Stephen Colbert with The Gettysburg Address of Comedy: Colbert's 2006 Bush Roast who put the “T” in truthiness along with Al Gore whom she helped throw the book at Global Warming. It was never so much a question as who Arianna Huffington was, as renowned investigative journalist Maureen Orth left no stone unturned in her 1994 award winning Vanity Fair article entitled Arianna's Virtual Candidate or who she's carrying water for. What tangible displays of integrity and solidarity towards the educated American middle class has she demonstrated in her high profile “progessive” media push to stop the increasing marginalization by the Neo-Frat Boy Corporate State?

So how would a large corporate tax cutter cow like AOL possibly embrace the unprecedented need for uncensored, uncontaminated, non-culty and objective investigative journalism at the local level with Arianna Huffington?

If it's any consolation, AOL plans to put Arianna in charge of capitalizing on crowd control at the very local level with online “local” news Patch.com. WTF is this? Salem Witch hunt season in America? Or will AH configure Patch.com to resurrect all the talented journalists kicked to the curb by the integrity challenged Neo-Frat Boy Corporate State? That would depend upon whether or not the On Becoming Fearless book author loathes educated middle class Americans as much as Chris Hedges says self-appointed corporate sponsored media elites in America tend to do, as he writes in his latest essay Recognizing the Language of Tyranny:

“Those who administer empire—elected officials, corporate managers, generals and the celebrity courtiers who disseminate the propaganda—become very wealthy. They make immense fortunes whether they deliver the nightly news, sit on the boards of corporations, or rise, lavished with corporate endorsements, within the vast industry of spectacle and entertainment. They all pay homage, even in moments defined as criticism, to the essential goodness of corporate power. They shut out all real debate. They ignore flagrant injustices and abuse. They peddle the illusions that keep us passive and amused. But as our society is reconfigured into an oligarchic system, with a permanent and vast underclass, along with a shrinking and unstable middle class, these illusions lose their power. The language of pleasant deception must be replaced with the overt language of force. It is hard to continue to live in a state of self-delusion once unemployment benefits run out, once the only job available comes without benefits or a living wage, once the future no longer conforms to the happy talk that saturates our airwaves. At this point rage becomes the engine of response, and whoever can channel that rage inherits power. The manipulation of that rage has become the newest task of the corporate propagandists, and the failure of the liberal class to defend core liberal values has left its members with nothing to contribute to the debate.”

While AH is an excellent writer of Swiftian proportions and a knowledgeable connoisseur of history, the agenda driven HuffPo blog gradually degenerated into a slow as molasses loading, cult-driven house of hysteria as it succeeded in its apparent divide and conquer mission of pitting American citizens against each other with endlessly boring and predictable faux Left/Right screeds from featured bloggers that hatefully pitched against “hate speech” by deploying hate speech. BORING. Adding insult to injury, both teabaggers (Right) and fleabaggers (Left) flooded the comments section in empty headed tail-chasing exercises, albeit some entertaining. But all too soon the monotonic voice of GROUPTHINK aka wisdom of the laugh out louds reared its anti-individualistic conformity head and buh-bye, open forum, intelligent discussion driven media model and the smart people it rode in on. The name of the game is co-option.

R.I.P., Huffington Post? Or is there an Afterlife “good” reincarnation waiting in the wings for what pro-American worker agenda driven journalism could be once AH digs her heels into AOL? As Ralph Nader says, only the rich can save us now.

Score ONE for the Dark Side as it co-opts another talented writer into the gates of Hell's monopolistic, cult-driven Neo-Frat Boy Corporate State's One Big Money Party black hole that is sucking the life out of educated middle class Americans across this country. With Arianna's expanded role at AOL, maybe she can help turn that tide around and even find something for cutting edge investigative journalists like Maureen Orth to do, too.

Party on, plebes!

-2Truthy

2Truthy's Happy Friday Hour LIVE Bridge Benefit Concert with Buffalo Springfield, Pearl Jam, Lucinda Williams and More: TURN UP THE VOLUME!

Buffalo Springfield Headlines Historic 24^th Bridge Benefit Concert 2010

Stop, children, what's that sound...Click RIGHT HERE and turn up the volume for the complete live Buffalo Springfield reunion set after 43 years, and well worth the wait.

Last Saturday, yours truly and friends took a trip down to the dump for Neil & Pegi Young's annual 24th Bridge School Benefit Concert for a one-time-in-a-million amazing live acoustic set headlining Buffalo Springfield's first time playing together in 43 years. Awesome, amazing and timeless are mere mortal words that can not come close to describing the sheer magic of being transported there to enjoy the sight and sounds of this historic concert.

It didn't hurt that we had SECTION ONE CENTER ROW stone's throw away from the stage seats, either.

The best part was that Buffalo Springfield played and sounded just like Buffalo Springfield – no strains of Crazy Horse or CS&N or solo Neil Daddy, just straight up Richie Furay (do I have to come right out and say it that Richie looks and sounds so fine as ever?) Stephen Stills and Mr. Weird playing and harmonizing tight and true to the original music.

Rolling Stone called the reunion triumphant:

“It has been public knowledge for weeks that the surviving members of Buffalo Springfield were going to reunite at Saturday’s Bridge School Benefit in Mountain View, California — but somehow it didn’t seem real until Neil Young, Stephen Stills and Richie Furay walked onstage and played the opening chords of “On the Way Home.” The three men hadn’t shared a stage together since the final Buffalo Springfield concert in 1968.”

Of their flawless set, I don't think there was a dry eye in the house when Neil Young, before singing my favorite “I am a Child” turned around to the kids on stage and said “This one's for you, kids” and sweetly sang the hell out of it. Oh, to live on planet Neil Young...

As if Buffalo Springfield were not enough, don't even get me started on Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam who brought new meaning to “let's bring this mother fu^king house down” as they preceded Buffalo Springfield with an entirely acoustic set.

MEMO TO PEARL JAM: More acoustic sets!

Keep up with the vocal coach, Eddie! Yours truly has never been a big fan of Pearl Jam, but that all changed last Saturday night when they moved out of their electric zone and played acoustic – a style that really, really compliments Eddie Vedder's natural baritone voice that has evolved from the early days of his trademark grunt that used to make Kurt Cobain sound like Harry Belafonte.

Click on the above video (second one down) to listen to Vedder croon Patti Smith's I'm Dancing Barefoot and get blown away by Pearl Jam's acoustic sound and Eddie's great voice.

“Uncle Neil” is having a strong and powerful influence on Vedder, as you can see watching them perform Walk with Me together. White. Hot. (Click on above video.)

And before Buffalo Springfield and Pearl Jam, there were my heroes, soulful Lucinda Williams and the all-time songbird Emmylou Harris. What can I say?

You should have been there.

And God bless Neil Young and Pegi for doing all they do every year to help the Bridge School help these kids.

Happy Friday, Loserettes!

-2Truthy

YES MEN Unhinge the Chamber of Commerce

 "Business as usual; Chamber is its own parody"

-TYM

Breaking News below from their website:


WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a dramatic announcement at the National Press Club today, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce reversed its position on climate change policy, and promised to immediately cease lobbying against the Kerry-Boxer bill.
Not.

Within minutes of the Chamber's dramatic announcement, it was revealed that the "Chamber spokesperson" was an impostor, and the press conference an elaborate hoax designed by activists to draw attention to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's "troglodytic" fight against climate change legislation. At the close of the news conference, a visibly rattled Chamber of Commerce spokesperson (Eric Wohlschlegel) barged into the room and declared the event a fraud. (Video here.)

-2Truthy

Juan Williams Canned By NPR (National Paranoid Radio)

FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY

Hello Everybody, it's me,

QUINCY,

Today, I found out that the distinguished black radio news analyst from NPR, Juan Williams got fired! And do you know what for? Because he said he gets a little “nervous” when he sees men dressed in “Muslim garb” on planes because he remembers 9/11 (you remember that bad day, right?) Big Journalism explains:

“The move came after Mr. Williams, who is also a Fox News political analyst, appeared on the “The O’Reilly Factor” on Monday. On the show, the host, Bill O’Reilly, asked him to respond to the notion that the United States was facing a “Muslim dilemma.” Mr. O’Reilly said, “The cold truth is that in the world today jihad, aided and abetted by some Muslim nations, is the biggest threat on the planet.”

Mr. Williams said he concurred with Mr. O’Reilly.

He continued: “I mean, look, Bill, I’m not a bigot. You know the kind of books I’ve written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.””

This is almost as bad as Vince Vaughn getting banned by Ellen for saying electric cars look gay.

I mean, look, everybody, I'm no bigot but I get a little nervous when I see Pigs identifying themselves first and foremost as chefs at Sum-Ting-Wong's kitchen in white chef garb wielding cleavers and standing around the grease vats. I can't help it. I get worried. Why? Because I remember exactly where that Pigsnout with truffle sauce that Obama ate at that fancy Philly deli came from and will never forget the pork plight of my brethren down on the North Carolina Pig farm during the days of my youth.

Is that so wrong?

And even if I did say Pigs dressed in white chef hats at Chinese greasy spoons make me a little nervous, should I get fired for speaking my mind just like Juan Williams did? Think about it.

Just like Juan Williams who didn't call anybody names or use any slurs, he said what a lot other Muslims or Kaballists or Atheists or Mormons or Scientologists must feel, too, when they board a plane and see men dressed in Muslim garb. It's just that way. Anyway, all this censorship and banning and firing is insanity.

Speaking of insanity, I hope that Mr. “Tolerance” Stephen Colbert will hold a special vigil for Juan at the Restore Sanity March at the DC Mall to restore sanity to the airwaves and restore Juan's job! After all, it's OK for Colbert and Stewart to make Pope bashing comments because the Pope is, of course, not a Muslim.

Hmph. Like a wise old sow once said:

"When fascism comes, it will be dressed in a clown suit carrying Soros' water."

NPR is ALSO the same station that is banning its employees from attending the Restore Sanity rally. Hmph. No wonder they fired Juan. The paranoid old windbags at National Propaganda Radio must only want insane people working for them.

Anyway, I have to go now and get to work on my Halloween costume. This year, I'm going to glue some garbage all over an old green track suit and go as an eco-friendly dump and make a high-pressure deodorant spray gun out of my super soaker. It's going to be the best Halloween ever!

In Uncensorship We Trust,

QUINCY

2Truthy's Lunch Break with Lucinda Williams: Turn Up the Volume!

(Very Special Thanks to Lucinda Williams)


-Wrap Your Head Around That-

-2Truthy

Bill Clinton Blames Unemployed Americans for "Skills Mismatch"

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

“Of course it is absurd to claim America has a skills shortage. We have sky high unemployment rates, across the board, relative to their past rates, with highly skilled and educated people.”

-Robert Oak, The Economic Populist

Blame Employers for the Jobs Crisis, and Blame their Public-Private Political Enablers, Too

Neo-Feudal Valley, USA – While there are not enough jobs for  educated Americans and the Republican controlled Chamber of Commerce is taking it in the shorts for outsourcing American jobs, click on the above video link and watch good old Democratic Bill Clinton hammer the rickety old saw that educated American citizens are unemployed because they have a “skills mismatch” with corporations! Yes, the same corporations who are of course, even trained to deliberately NOT hire Americans in favor of cheap imported labor from India and China.  Simon Lomax and Miles Weiss report here that while “Clinton’s campaign against poverty in poor countries is making room this year for programs to aid unemployed Americans”, the former president makes the bogus following claim:

“The “biggest problem” that stands in the way of boosting employment is a “skills mismatch” in the U.S. economy. This means the jobs that are being opened don’t have qualified people applying for them. If job-specific training were provided to 5 million unemployed workers, the jobless rate would fall to around 7 percent.”

As Bill's Indian lobby buds and he himself know full well, the biggest problem that stands in the way of boosting American employment is a “moral character mismatch” between millions of educated Americans of good character and horribly sociopathic pigs who choose to feast at the trough on cheap imported labor. Skills mismatch, MY ASS! Beating the drum about some mythical “skills mismatch” is neo-feudal state speak for greasing the skids for more age and local discrimination, slave wages, labor arbitrage and more immigration at a time when there are not enough jobs for our own citizens.

Our friend Rob Oak at the Economic Populist takes us for a comprehensive stroll through the land mines of this war on America's educated middle class with his mother of all “skilled labor shortage myth” posts entitled Blame Employers for the Jobs Crisis. 

Oak provides detailed articles, charts, graphs and links that debunk the lies and propaganda from the perpetrators waging genocide on America's educated citizenry. In particular, he includes the above must-watch video clip with Bill Clinton on Dylan Ratigan's show where Clinton makes the shocking claim that while 5 million job openings exist, millions of educated American citizens who need them are NOT educated or skilled enough to be hired by most U.S. corporations and are in need of “training.” Indeed, the long-arm of Clinton's good intentions seems to stretch globally, just not locally.

What WOULD possibly possess former president Bill Clinton to claim that while 5 million job openings exist, millions of educated American citizens who need them are NOT skilled enough to hire? Since when is it suddenly academia's responsibility to train the already educated American unemployed workforce for corporations at the very expense of unemployed educated Americans? Could there be some underlying profit motive there? Not only do corporations not want to hire Americans or pay them decent salaries and healthcare, they are hellbent with replacing them with cheap foreign imported workers. Could The Cash Cow of Indian Outsourcing and Clinton family ties to the India lobby (h/t Rob Sanchez) who have made Billary very wealthy Connecticut “farmers” and the cheap labor itch have something at all to do with the LIE that there is an American skilled labor shortage?

Included in his post is a new website and database from the AFL-CIO which allows you to see who is exporting jobs by zip code. How are your friendly local companies holding up? In addition to many technology companies (ahem, including the nation's supreme sociopathy pit, Hewlett-Packard) I even found a bread company in my zone that apparently can't find qualified Americans to work for them. A bread company! With so many people locally out of work, local companies continue to discriminate.  Oak writes:

“Those of us in STEM know what skills shortage really means. It means enabling more outsourcing, more foreign guest workers and more immigration. There is no skills shortage, there never was a skill shortage. There is a shortage of good employers who do not discriminate, age discriminate, ship jobs to India, China, Brazil and treat their workers like cannon fodder. There also is a shortage of jobs, pure and simple. Put U.S. workers first. Demand these employers quit their inane, harsh, wage repressing, discriminatory labor practices.”

Where exactly is Clinton's explanation of what these mysteriously missing skills are that Americans are supposed to be lacking? Anyone who starts a job in a company is trained, period. Never mind this horseshit excuse of educated Americans not being qualified and that somehow only an inexperienced, dubiously and unverifiable, cheap foreign worker magically shows up with all the right “trainability” because they overwhelmingly always don't.

Rob Oak is right. Corporations are to blame for not hiring educated Americans. And if corporations stopped discriminating against educated American citizens of all ages and started hiring them instead of importing cheap foreign workers, politicians and former presidents would be relieved of making excuses for them. But they would also be relieved of a few zillion ruppees, too, that keep them all fat and happy down on the farm.

Rob Oak doesn't hesitate to call it like it is when it comes to this ruse from Clinton about educated Americans needing “training” as he offers this excellent comment below:

“As a techie, I can tell you a main STEM skill is the never ending ability to learn and self-teach. You'd be dead in the water without that ability for technology changes every 6 months. That said, acting like people cannot learn new skills on the job, when the entire United States learned skills on the job to become the biggest military machine in history and win the war...

just infuriates me. I mean come on, the entire planet is currently addicted to iphones and facebook. All of that requires learning new skills...i.e. the younger crowd is all thumbs, literally. Think they cannot learn some skilled manufacturing trade if they can figure out how to text at 80wpm with just their thumbs? What is wrong with these corporations and politicians?”

After reaping so much wealth, it is a shame that the Clintons would still choose not to stop this war on America's educated middle class, many of whom supported them. As yours truly has previously reported, Follow the Drinking Gourd.

Party on, plebes!

-2Truthy

2Truthy's Happy Friday Hour with Duane Allman: Turn Up the Volume!

(Very Special Thanks to the Immortal Duane Allman) 

"A 10 minute + song that starts slow and builds momentum like a freight train. If this song doesn't get you tapping your toe or playing air guitar then your probably dead." -Youtube Commenter

Loan Me a Dime

What are your local Congress critters doing to stop importing cheap labor to take your jobs? How about your local Chamber of Commerce selling out your jobs to foreign BFFs who grease their palms?

High Profits, High Unemployment?

"Perplexing statistics have been surfacing concerning the economy. While corporate profits are returning to pre “crisis” levels, unemployment seems to remain stuck around ten percent. Worsening the scenario is the fact that this doesn’t capture the entire employment picture, as some believe at least another ten percent have given up on finding a job or have been forced into early retirement."

 20.5 Million Americans have a Bachelors Degree in Science & Engineering but our "best and brightest" thought leaders lie and tell us we have a skilled labor shortage and that we need MORE imported cheap workers to take jobs educated Americans need?

"A new question in the 2009 American Community Survey asked respondents with bachelor's degrees about their undergraduate major: The estimated number of people in the United States 25 and over with a bachelor's degree or higher was 56.3 million. Of this group, 20.5 million, or 36.4 percent, held at least one science and engineering degree." 

Jobs for U.S. citizens are not commodities like GMO crops under some skewed NAFTA agreement. But for many years of job outsourcing,  to  caste-minded neo-frat boy bean counters running U.S. corporations,  a slave is a slave is a slave. 

Happy Friday, Loserettes!

-2Truthy   

Get Behind Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel: The Gay Rahmi Times Chicago Exclusive

(Click on image to enlarge)

“If the teacher is corrupt, the city will be, too!”

-The Gay Swami

Ex-Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel to Run for Mayor of Chicago!

The Gay Rahmi Kicks Off Chicago Tell It Like It Fu*king Is Tour

Get Behind Rahm!

Welcome back to The Gay Swami Times. Click here for previous issues.

Today we celebrate celestial news that dreamy Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel (click here for his blog) has officially declared his Chicago run for Mayor! The Gay Rahmi's "Tell It Like It Is" listening tour of Chicago is leading him to all kinds of exotic locales to progressively bridge the “enthusiasm gap” by listening to people in places like the N. Kimaball Home Depot, the Diversey River Bowl and train stations, too:

"As I prepare to run for mayor, I'm going to spend the next few weeks visiting our neighborhoods -- at grocery stores, L stops, bowling alleys and hot dog stands," Emanuel said. "I want to hear from you -- in blunt Chicago terms -- what you think about our city, and how the next mayor and you can make it better."

One minor fly in the ointment involves a residency evil dispute that some malicious experts say may disqualify him from running, but this is Chicago, right? It's NOT like it's Delhi or New Jersey or anything. This is the Second City known for its glorious, worldclass corruption standards where constant friction between moral pantywaists and lying, corrupt politicians create a melting pot for grand scale thievery unlike anyplace known to the galaxy! No suspicious legal maneuvering should prevent enlightened Rahm from winning his rightful seat. Om.

The Gay Swami predicts that Rahm will elude these bed bugs who would present such odious and trivial roadblocks to his inevitable SUCCESS, because a person can always make spiritual progress under the guidance of a corrupt master! “The Gay Rahmi shall triumph over his fluffy opponents to win the hearts and souls (the dead voters have a ballot, too!) and wallets of the people of Chicago!”

“A desire arises in the mind. It is satisfied immediately after a higher power comes to rectify the residency requirement.”

-His Holiness, the Swami Salami

-THE GAY SWAMI

Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel Kicks Off Tell It Like It Is Public Transportation and Hot Dog Tour

Rahm's Tell It Like It Fuc*ing Is Tour

Dear Chicago land BFFs and Voters Everywhere, (You too, Blago),

As you know, I have announced my decision to run for Mayor of Chicago.

In an attempt to clean up my image as a backroom dealing, profane piledriver, my staffers have suggested I instead STFU and stuff my filthy mouth with hotdogs as a first baby step in my rehabilitation.

I'm serious, bitches.

In case you haven't heard, my new scene will involve trolling Chicago's hot dog stands and L stops for ordinary citizens to give me ideas on how I could make the City of Chicago a better place for them in the “New Economy”.(As if.)

My campaign tour is called "Tell it like it is" and believe me, I'll tell YOU like it is: I'll be looking for donations from every one of you motherf*ckers because this democracy business is a TWO way street. And after a hard day hitting the slums and listening, listening to ALL KINDS of WHINEY SH*T – maybe I can listen to some aspiring U of C interns at Cedar's over shish-kebobs and Rahm-itinis for dinner, too.

I'm excited to be your mayor in waiting, so help me help you make a difference in my slam-dunk campaign.

Onward!

Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel

Ohio's Anti-Offshoring Royal Silver Bullet

( Credits Patrick Thibodeau/Computerworld)

“Outsourcing doesn't reflect Ohio's values”

-Ohio Governor Ted Strickland

Anti-Offshoring Ohio Lures Indian Offshoring Giant on U.S. Taxpayer Dime

Patrick Thibodeau's headline today at Computerworld entitled Ohio takes the lead in offshoring fight revisits LWOH's probe into the rising “backshoring” trend where incumbent Democratic Ohio Governor Ted Strickland woos TCS, presses India for jobs and is now campaigning on the “anti-outsourcing” brand. If Strickland says outsourcing doesn't reflect Ohio values, what about insourcing?

As we reported in this article entitled NCR, GE and Dow "Backshoring" as Boeing Profits, Plans 10,000 Layoffs, the growing trend of “backshoring” as we reported in Corporate Welfare Roulette  for U.S. corporations to move their operations back home to states that lure foreign outsourcing companies on the U.S. taxpayer dime raises the question: Why are American taxpayers subsidizing foreign outsourcing corporations whose businesses are in the cheap labor/labor arbitrage racket in the first place when millions of unemployed Americans (and businesses) can do those jobs?

Thibodeau's article prompted an interesting discussion in the comments section, as one Ohio citizen notes below:

“...practically from the beginning, Ohio had among the best law schools, excellent medical schools, and soon developed the best K-12 text books. We've got plenty of bright, knowledgeable, industrious and creative people in Ohio. We don't need to be importing guest-workers for work Buckeyes can do quite well, while making and leaving our capable people unemployed and under-employed. Off-shore out-sourcing should be rare. Guest-workers should be geniuses at the very least (since we have many gifted people who are unemployed).”

The article also notes that Strickland has "blasted" offshore firms, saying their use has "unacceptable business consequences," most important being data security and privacy risks. Hear, hear, Governor Strickland! But Thibodeau points out that despite his tough stance on outsourcing, Strickland has curiously “given about $19 million in tax breaks in 2007 to Indian giant Tata Consultancy Services to build a development center in the state. Tata has already established 400 jobs at the center and is supposed to have 1,000 there by the end of 2011.” So will American citizens get those jobs with good wages? With India's concern over Ohio's anti-offshoring efforts, President Obama will visit India in November “to take our relationship to the next level," as SOS Hillary Clinton put it in a speech earlier this month. What “next level” might that be? Thibodeau's article may suggest that the whole H-1b visa program that provided U.S. corporations massive flows of cheap labor from India might be abolished. After all, the state of Ohio is home to Dennis Kucinich who wants to scrap the whole H-1b visa program. What would it be replaced with? Some unlimited, global open borders/green card program and massive L-1 student visas? Thibodeau slips in news about a massive Ohio “Supercomputer Center Blue Collar Computing program”:

“The decline of manufacturing in Ohio and elsewhere affects more than jobs; it affects IT as well. "Manufacturing is extremely important because that is where the bulk of the research and development is," said Harold 'Hal' Williams, an economics professor emeritus at Kent State. Manufacturers are increasingly relying on high-performance computing systems to develop products. These systems can simulate how products might perform as conditions change, and they eliminate the need for continuous prototype-building, thus speeding time to market and product development. The Ohio Supercomputer Center's Blue Collar Computing program in Columbus has been on the leading edge in the U.S. to provide high-performance computing resources to manufacturers. "If we are going to maintain a strong competitive position internationally, we've got to have firms that are doing a lot of research and development," said Williams.”

Would this mean an unlimited number of L-1 visas? Hmm...that way, wouldn't TCS (and other foreign outsourcers in other states) have all the unlimited, cheap imported student labor they could get their hands on to further drive down wages for educated American citizens (young and old) who need jobs? Slick. They could just skip the whole outmoded adult H-1b slave labor visa entirely and go down to the L-1 slave youth labor model? We don't know!

Will Strickland's anti-outsourcing brand (sans anti-insourcing) seduce Ohio's voters? Never mind  that third-party groups are targeting Ohio Democrats with ads or that FiveThirtyEight's prediction about the gubernatorial race has John Kasich bagging it:

“Silver gives The Wizard of Westerville a 90.1 percent chance of beating Ted Strickland, the incumbent governor from southeast Ohio, whose campaign strategy has been to paint Kasich green, colored by the greed and money that go hand in hand with working on Wall Street.”

We applaud Governor Strickland's executive order prohibiting use of public funds for outsourcing, as the use of U.S. taxpayer dollars to ship American customer support and technical design projects offshore harms American workers. But why turn around and then “lure” Indian outsourcing companies to states where millions of educated Americans and businesses can take those jobs? Does one hand know not what the other is doing? 

"Outsourcing jobs does not reflect Ohio values," Strickland said. "Ohioans have been among the hardest hit by more than a decade of unfair trade agreements and the trickle-down economic policies that promoted offshoring jobs at the expense of Ohioans who work for a living. We must do everything within our power to prevent outsourcing jobs because it undermines our economic development objectives, slows our recovery and deprives Ohioans and other Americans of employment opportunities."

"Ohio's policy has been--and must continue to be--that public funds should not be spent on services provided offshore," Strickland says in the order. "Throughout my Administration, procurement procedures have been in place that restrict the purchase of offshore services. Despite these requirements, federal stimulus funds were recently used to purchase services from a domestic company which ultimately provided some of those services offshore. This incident was unacceptable and has caused me to redouble my commitment to ensure that public funds are not expended for offshore services."

Governor Strickland may be “redoubling” his commitments, alright – by luring Indian outsourcing giants to Ohio with public funds that were once expended for offshore services? This would be fine, if foreign outsourcing companies  like TCS hired only Americans at high compensation levels. How likely is that?

Of course, if Governor Strickland really wanted to turn Silver's predictions upside down, he would include a sign that reads WELCOME TO OHIO, THE ANTI-INSHORING STATE.

Party on, plebes!

-2Truthy

Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel's Address to the Nation

A Message from Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel

Hey, Mother Fu#^ers,

Everyone and their retarded uncles have probably heard by now that I, Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff (on my way out the fu#^ing door) am supposed to run for Mayor of my home town, Chicago after Daley's sudden announcement that he's stepping down. Why is that? It really doesn't matter why his approval ratings are in the shitter or that the city is broke, or how any of that happened. So, for now, you can call me 'Hizzoner' until I decide whether I want the job or not.

What matters now is that the people of Chicago will need a strong leader to fill Daley's shoes and collect the dues. (I'm good at collecting dues, and don't DON'T even start talking sh*t about my height because I KNOW PEOPLE.) While that gravedigger buster Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart's name is making the rounds, believe me, I'm the guy around Chicago who knows where the bodies are buried. These other pansies in this poll called We Ask America haven't read We Ask Fu#^ing Rham, have they.

I'm not saying yet if I will or I won't run for Mayor, especially not to you fu#^ing babies at the Washington Post who make sh*t up as you go along, anyway. So, while you pussies are wondering why I might – might want to run for Mayor, don't forget that my man on the street (code for 'the smooth talking orator guy I walked into the White House') is also having his sorry ass handed to him in the Swamp for colossally blowing it on a long, long chain of undelivered, promised goods filed under the “hope and change” tab (haha) which will probably cost him 2012. It seems that the Inauguration was only yesterday.

Looking back, I think it was those disrespectful Scandinavian mother fu#^ers who pissed me off the most for refusing to cut the Chicago Olympics deal under Barry's watch - that's when the whole tuna can lid of this administration began to peel back. The rest is history.

Don't even get me started on peeking into Nate Silver's fu#^ing candy ass crystal ball for “predications”. F^CK YOU, Silver!

Did any of you people even consider that maybe I'm sick of being a political big, swinging, public servant dick and might want to switch hit over to the private sector? (No, you didn't, and don't try to tell me you assh*les did.) I know, the broke city of Chicago needs me to get back home and start kicking ass, even if I'm Mayor or not. And if nobody votes for me, boo-hoo, too fu#^ing bad because maybe I've got other, bigger, waaay bigger fu#^ing fish to fry. Like firing up the Chicago Climate Exchange (CCX) to name one not entirely half-backed scheme. I could even keep a seat warm for Barry by the time he gets back in 2013. Good times, all over again.

We'll make a new start trading carbon futures and bring a whole new meaning to the “Hookers and Blow School of Economics” where derivatives beasts rule and greenbacks are old school. Frame THAT, you fu#^ing babies without an inside clue. Talk about future book deals, baby... “Barry and Me: Building a Bridge Out of Fu#^ing Thin Air to the Hog Butcher of the World” is one title I'm already floating.

Maybe I'll even drive to DC to pick up Barry in my new Fisker, only I'll have to get the thick smell of bacon and grain spirits out of the backseat upholstery first. By all means, the prospects are so mother fu#^ing exciting, I've got to go take a cold shower.

Here's the important thing. If you forget all about how Chicago's public schools are one big, fu#^ing mess or that whole Renaissance 2010 stinker Barry cooked up with Arne Duncan is another frothy house of cards that needs filthy lucre that doesn't exist to run on, or that the fu#^ing teachers union contract is rolling around and they're in no mood for any more cutbacks and Charter Sch$ol sh*t, the city of Chicago is gonna need an Enforcer the size of Goliath. That would be me.

IF...if I run.

Later, maybe,

Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel

**********

-2Truthy

Harvey Keitel Eyed to Clean Up the "Office"

(Victor the Cleaner in Point of No Return)

“Office” Producer Wants Harvey Keitel for New Boss to Replace Steve Carell

Breaking News

Los Angeles – Producer Paul Lieberstein of the Office “insists he's serious” about having Harvey Keitel (a.k.a. "Victor the Cleaner” in Point of No Return) replace Steve Carell as the boss. We have no doubts that Harvey is THE MAN to get the job done cleaning up around the “Office”.

Should this excellent casting pick get the green light, you won't want to miss an episode. For readers who missed PONR, below is a precise review of Keitel in his finest role:

"A cameo by Harvey Keitel -- as a murderous trouble-shooter called Victor who cleans up botched murders and other sticky problems -- is almost worth the price of admission. In fact, he should star in a spinoff movie called "Victor the Cleaner." It would be exactly the kind of cult hit Warner Bros. is trying to crib. Perhaps they'd better wait for it to come out in France first. But until that time, give yourself a treat and rent the video of "La Femme Nikita."

-2Truthy

Ignition Interlock Devices Sniff Your Seats, Hands for Liquor: Big Brother in Your Backseat

Big Brother in Your Backseat

Update 9/5: The article link by Sarah Longwell is no longer available at The Hill's website.

Most sober, sensible and sane people would overwhelmingly agree that the best way to curb drunk driving is to keep drunks at the curb, or as far away from the steering wheel as they can get. In her article entitled Big Brother in the Backseat, Sarah Longwell, Managing Director of the American Beverage Institute, reports on a new automobile technology that would sniff the seats and hands of all drivers, sober or not - to decide if the driver is drunk.

The author writes that a  “classic bait and switch” plan to keep drunk drivers off the road from Sen. Tom Udall (D-N.M.) called the ROADS SAFE Act "would pour $60 million dollars of taxpayer money" into developing “a new generation of in-car alcohol detectors.” Although well-intentioned, such devices could  potentially risk leaving millions of  sober and or light-drinking drivers stranded alongside strip malls, nightclubs, restaurants, homes and driveways, workplaces and roadsides all across the country. The new generation of in-car alcohol detectors would be embedded in your steering wheel to sniff your seats, hands, and who knows what else to detect traces of alcohol in your car. Once a certain level is detected, the car would not start.

But what if your hands had hand sanitizer on them? Or you just had your nails done? Or you, the driver, were not drinking but the person groping you to your right (that's not ever happened to me, not even as a teen) in the passenger seat was totally sh*tfaced? While drunk driving is a serious problem, aren't there wiser, humane and civil solutions to make use of taxpayer funds that don't demonize sober and responsible drivers? Is putting alcohol detection devices in every car an “overreach and invasion of privacy that will deprive responsible adults of their right to enjoy a drink with dinner?”

Hell yes! And this ingenious, ominous seat and hand sniffing technology in your car may even be an excellent way for a few enterprising, public-private sector “thought leaders” and insiders to turn a mighty fine, profitable return by hooking up to the cash cow auto industry, too! On your taxpayer dime, of course.

Ms. Longwell also points out that while “alcohol detectors are a good tool for getting chronic drunk drivers off our roads”, we ought to be able to fight the problem of drunk driving without treating every American like a bunch of “irresponsible” alcoholics. If such a technology is available, why not limit it to the pool of “chronic” offenders instead of millions of non-lushes who drive?

In fact, why not kick social services programs to the curb, too? Perhaps all of those successful, good old fashioned, taxpayer funded alcohol rehabilitation programs that once employed millions of psychologists and social workers with good wages and benefits in alcohol and drug abuse prevention programs that flourished during the Carter administration years just aren't as profitable as an infinite supply chain of seat and hand sniffers to be installed in every vehicle from Detroit to the Delta from now to Kingdom Come?

Somebody has to prosper, and if this well-intentioned seat and hand sniffing detector is any gage of how far humanity has evolved in the emerging public/private partnership 21^st century, drunk driving prevention, innovative technologies, and rehabilitation solutions that would be smart, humane, sensible and civil may have to take a backseat.

Party on (responsibly and safely), plebes!

-2Truthy