Monday, October 4, 2010

Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel Kicks Off Tell It Like It Is Public Transportation and Hot Dog Tour

Rahm's Tell It Like It Fuc*ing Is Tour

Dear Chicago land BFFs and Voters Everywhere, (You too, Blago),

As you know, I have announced my decision to run for Mayor of Chicago.

In an attempt to clean up my image as a backroom dealing, profane piledriver, my staffers have suggested I instead STFU and stuff my filthy mouth with hotdogs as a first baby step in my rehabilitation.

I'm serious, bitches.

In case you haven't heard, my new scene will involve trolling Chicago's hot dog stands and L stops for ordinary citizens to give me ideas on how I could make the City of Chicago a better place for them in the “New Economy”.(As if.)

My campaign tour is called "Tell it like it is" and believe me, I'll tell YOU like it is: I'll be looking for donations from every one of you motherf*ckers because this democracy business is a TWO way street. And after a hard day hitting the slums and listening, listening to ALL KINDS of WHINEY SH*T – maybe I can listen to some aspiring U of C interns at Cedar's over shish-kebobs and Rahm-itinis for dinner, too.

I'm excited to be your mayor in waiting, so help me help you make a difference in my slam-dunk campaign.


Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel

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