Saturday, May 27, 2006

2Truthy's Take on Mary Matalin's Facelift

Did Mary Matalin have Plastic Surgery? It seems I have been fingered for serving up garlic bread at the wrong house party.

It seems that a friend is wondering if my open letter to Arianna Huffington speculating about Mary Matalin's facelift was "a little harsh." Harsh? Was it the part about Transylvania? Or comparing her new appearance to that of the *fearless* literary impressario, Arianna Huffington?

Harsh? au contraire. And believe me, I personally think any reference to Transylvania is a riot! When I saw Mary's photo shortly after the lift, Transylvania is simply what came to mind. Perhaps so much time spent in Washington D.C. has a way of wearing on one's sense of humor -- making one a little more touchy or needlessly defensive. Just having fun, you know, good natured spoofing.  And, if I saw Mary in person I would certainly tell her that to her face, because that is the kind of person I am a straight shooter, just like Cheney. After all, she is a Croat and they're all related over there anyway, hence the reference to the Transylvanian resemblance.

I watched the Blues Brothers last night and laughed as hard as I did when it came out in the 80's. The concept of "truthiness" was not lost on Jake and Elwood.

I wrote this after I read several mean spirited rumblings about her facelift, like "Madwoman of Chaillot" and "Lady McCheney" etc. At least my post is funny. And good spirited. Don't forget that those media pundits receive monetary incentives for their remarks while 2Truthy, who tirelessly toils away at the smelt factory of Silicon Valley and never gives up hope for the American Dream, does not.

I did see a picture of her shortly after the lift and she did look a little too tight or scary, you know, kind of Eddie Munsterish, Halloweenish... Did my glow in the dark, trick store fangs come out, you wonder? No blood has been drawn over my post. And besides, Nobody reads this stuff, right?

In all fairness, and from what I gather, shortly after having a facelift, everybody tends to look like they've been blown through a wind tunnel and back. And then some through a Transylvanian tunnel. Take me, on the other hand. My expectations are modest.

Should the hands of time on the clock of my face be mercilessly moved forward into some unforgiving, international time zone of no return, this Irish girl hopes for a surgeon with all the misanthropic grace and skills of DOCTOR HOUSE (new addition to 2Truthy's Official Party List) who, pray tell, wouldn't use an unsterilized potato peeler.

Whats-more, I'm horribly bored with technology and refuse to even mow my own lawn.  I am a casualty of losing the war on humor.



Anonymous said...

Just saw Mary last night and noticed the facelift - this is September 2008! I thought maybe she purchased it with funds from her Obama Nation book - and thought that maybe it didn't make as much money as she thought it would, hence the lousy facelift.

2Truthy said...

Thanks for the update, anon.
Was Carville there? Is he plugging for the HAIR CLUB FOR MEN in one of those toupee tossing billboard ads over in Tokyo yet?

Tammy F. said...

I saw her last week and she looks a lot different than in this picture.

Is it possible that she ditched Dr. Sawbones and got a hold of the guy who cleaned up Nancy Pelosi's perpetually startled mug?

Site Administrator said...


(What is it with this Facebooky klatch of the jealous, dreggy, tweety, Facebooky busy bodies to want to swarm sites about M.M., anyway?)

2Truthy said...

SA, IE it is, and Facebook chatter IS appropriate for this post:)

Tammy Faye, Nope, she probably did nothing. Despite undergoing a lift which immediately produces results that tighten jowls and firm sagging skin, gravity doesn't take a day off. These things are only good for a few years before having to make another visit to the glamor gods of the holy scalpel.

janearfarf said...

I thought I would share this with everyone who can't find the right plastic surgeon that doesn't charge out the wazoo.

I'm on a ski trip in Garden City, Idaho right now, where a rich floozy friend of mine recommended a thrifty veterinarian out here who does facelifts in exchange for insider stock trade tips.

marge'ssisterpatty said...

all of these yakkers on tv can kiss my ass.whatever they say on CNN or anyplace else is a smokescreen for all the shit these banker bastards are want smokescreens, come over to my place.i got plenty of marlboros.

2Truthy said...

jan, Thanks for sharing your beauty secrets and shortcuts.

anon, First, please note that this is a ridiculously unofficial plastic surgery site and not an offshoot of MOST WANTED or a Dominic Dunne surrogate. There is a separate post about the missing blogger so it's inappropriate to ask for "orange threat levels" on this one, K? Second, what busy body blogger do you mean? Meghan McCain? Who cares?

sistapatty, You're always welcome. We need more voices of gravitas like yours around here.

perry said...

"Truthy's Take on Mary Matalin's Facelift. Should the hands of time on the clock of my face be mercilessly moved forward into some unforgiving, ..."
Also, you have referenced in a *spanish* blog ( "Encuentra los blos mas importantes del mundo" In english:
"The center for the most important blogs of the world" (or something similar...)

Anonymous said...

Saw Mary Matalin today on The View (2014). She did not look well--was dabbing at her eyes with tissue, and her mouth was one tight line. Definitely not having a good day.

Anonymous said...

I, too, saw her 1/07/14 appearance on The View. She looked just a little loopy and appeared to be wearing a wacky wig. Either fillers or cheek implants were quite evident on top of previous work. Snaky James looks the same as always. I do like them as a couple, though.

2Truthy said...

Mary on The View? A much needed BUMP to their saggy ratings PLUS the new book! Tears of joy?

Ben, about the wig thing? Maybe. Although she has a great head of hair.

Anonymous said...

Hitting the hard stuff on Bill Maher or what?



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