Sunday, December 24, 2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS


MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL
To All on 2Truthy's Official "You're Invited to My Party List"
Warmest Wishes for a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of the many other heathens and pagans on the list (we all know who we are) -- I think I have everyone listed. And shame on me if I forgot to add Bill Maher, but I am a little busy.
Danielle Crittenden, who was raised as a Christian but converted to Judaism, basically says the onus of Christmas is always put on the woman of the house (to supervise the clean up, the baking, menu planning, decorations or worse, have to do it yourself), the shopping, the wrapping, and breaking out all the silver and crystal and hoping that something from Tiffany's will fall down the chimney with your name on it in with gracious note for all your trouble.
Now, I don't know if Danielle is still entitled to a little blue box during the Holidays, but the message and magic of Christmas has got to be something for everyone -- whether you're on or off the bus.
In the flurry of the festivities, Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All!
-2Truthy and Quincy

Friday, December 15, 2006

QUINCY GOES TO WASHINGTON


FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY
Dear Mr. Bob Woodward,
It's me, QUINCY.
I am responding to your advertisement in JournalismJobs.com
for the NEW FULL-TIME ASSISTANT position.
My many superlative administrative skills include touch typing, answering multi-line phones, balancing and serving coffee on my snout, insulting offensive partisan Beltway insiders and poseurs who dress up in sheep's clothing (believe me, I can smell them a MILE away),
and in discretely keeping all other nuisance bearing SOBs at bay. My references are of the finest calibre, bar none (available upon request.)
In addition, I am fluent in four languages including French, German, Spanish and Farsi and am available to handle high-level translations between any CIA or NSA mole or terrorist as needed. I am not, however, available to start until late January as 2Truthy is taking me to the SUNDANCE Film Festival so would that still be OK?
Also, your ad did not disclose the salary or the perks...Please send all confidential inquiries to 2Truthy's email address below as I don't have my own email account yet due to my recent move. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.


I can't wait to become your NEW FULL-TIME ASSISTANT!

Sincerely,
QUINCY

c/o 2Truthy at bloggrl-2truthy1@yahoo.com
Los Altos, CA
P.S. 2Truthy's husband lived down the way from you in Wheaton, IL

Monday, December 4, 2006

GEORGE CLOONEY: MY DEEPEST REGRETS


FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY

R.I.P.

MAX CLOONEY

1988-2006

HOLLYWOOD, CA

Dear George,

It is with deepest sympathy that I send my regrets over the loss of your best friend and concubine, Max. I said "concubine" because being a Pig myself, people often mistake us for "porcupines" while a concubine is someone to share your life with. I think. Anyway, it rhymes.

2Truthy's mother was born and raised in Ireland and on their horse farm, she had a pet Pig who was her best friend. His name was Seamus and he was very, very smart, sensitive and nice... only he died prematurely when he fell down the well in the middle of the night while her Father was in London on business. It was sad, and tragic. So along with my regrets, I send this heartfelt message during your difficult time of loss.

Now you feel the rain - as each of you were the shelter for each other. But soon, you will feel no cold - for each of you will be warmth for each other in timeless, splendid memories of days gone by...for Max has passed to his eternal dwelling place to enter a new rout in finding everlasting peace. You gave him companionship, and he gave you joy; and for this, may he rest in peace with and may you find comfort in a lifetime of lasting memories.

To quote the immortal words of the late George Sand:


THERE IS ONLY ONE HAPPINESS IN LIFE;
TO LOVE AND BE LOVED.


But what I would really like to know is, which one of your friends ran over Max in 2001? Was it Matt? or Brad?? Or your old girlfriend? Were they intoxicated?

Well, whoever it was, I hope they sent Max a big BOWL of truffles and massaged his belly on a regular basis and took him for long strolls along the beach after that because, I too George, am no stranger to trauma. The whole reason I was adopted and now live with 2Truthy is because my parents were addicted to internet gambling and neglected me by forgetting to feed me on a regular basis. This caused me to develop a serious gastrointestinal problem, exacerbated by binge eating and night sweats.

Anyway, if you are ever in SF and just want to talk, you can always count on me.

Your new friend,

Quincy

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Mary Matalin's Libby Defense Fund

Give to the Libby Defense Fund

In a recent HuffPo post, a letter to the public from Mary Matalin requesting funds to bail out Scooter Libby was posted (letter and complete thread below, which includes 3 separate comments on different pages from Yours truly...)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/11/20/mary-matalin-solicits-mon_n_34545.html?p=2

2Truthy had an important birthday celebration that day - her own -- to dash off to and declined to donate for reasons explained in the above thread. Although 2Truthy does her rank best to support worthy causes, what exactly does it take to open the golden ropes?

As described on the Libby Defense Fund website:

"Scooter Libby - White House adviser, mystery novelist, and neoconservative hack is one of the most traitorous men pulling the strings behind the scenes in the Bush administration. Libby, who's held more titles than a small town Library, served mostly, until his resignation, as vice presidential chief of staff. He's been called Dick Cheney's Dick Cheney - a strange little man managing just about every detail of Cheney's professional life and career since he was hired."

Mind you, the Bush Administration has performed extraordinarily well for those in the one percent income tax bracket, who have delighted in decreased personal and corporate taxes which, most assuredly, provide plenty of disposable income to make necessary 'home' beautification projects

http://tootruthy.blogspot.com/2006/05/2truthys-take-on-mary-matalins.html

imperative to keep up with the Jones'. Most notable is Ms. Matalin's gesture to solicit funds from the Plebes because giving to charity not only provides intangible gratification but it also offers a write off. The only problem here is, guilt by association. Perhaps it is time for Mary to find a pro-American cause celebre.

As the Libby Defense Fund solicits

http://www.libbydefensefund.com/index.htm

"We hope you will join us in supporting this effort to Defend America from Scooter Libby, and we'll be adding more worthy causes to donate to in the days and weeks ahead."

-2Truthy