FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY
R.I.P.
MAX CLOONEY
1988-2006
HOLLYWOOD, CA
Dear George,
It is with deepest sympathy that I send my regrets over the loss of your best friend and concubine, Max. I said "concubine" because being a Pig myself, people often mistake us for "porcupines" while a concubine is someone to share your life with. I think. Anyway, it rhymes.
2Truthy's mother was born and raised in Ireland and on their horse farm, she had a pet Pig who was her best friend. His name was Seamus and he was very, very smart, sensitive and nice... only he died prematurely when he fell down the well in the middle of the night while her Father was in London on business. It was sad, and tragic. So along with my regrets, I send this heartfelt message during your difficult time of loss.
Now you feel the rain - as each of you were the shelter for each other. But soon, you will feel no cold - for each of you will be warmth for each other in timeless, splendid memories of days gone by...for Max has passed to his eternal dwelling place to enter a new rout in finding everlasting peace. You gave him companionship, and he gave you joy; and for this, may he rest in peace with and may you find comfort in a lifetime of lasting memories.
To quote the immortal words of the late George Sand:
It is with deepest sympathy that I send my regrets over the loss of your best friend and concubine, Max. I said "concubine" because being a Pig myself, people often mistake us for "porcupines" while a concubine is someone to share your life with. I think. Anyway, it rhymes.
2Truthy's mother was born and raised in Ireland and on their horse farm, she had a pet Pig who was her best friend. His name was Seamus and he was very, very smart, sensitive and nice... only he died prematurely when he fell down the well in the middle of the night while her Father was in London on business. It was sad, and tragic. So along with my regrets, I send this heartfelt message during your difficult time of loss.
Now you feel the rain - as each of you were the shelter for each other. But soon, you will feel no cold - for each of you will be warmth for each other in timeless, splendid memories of days gone by...for Max has passed to his eternal dwelling place to enter a new rout in finding everlasting peace. You gave him companionship, and he gave you joy; and for this, may he rest in peace with and may you find comfort in a lifetime of lasting memories.
To quote the immortal words of the late George Sand:
THERE IS ONLY ONE HAPPINESS IN LIFE;
TO LOVE AND BE LOVED.
But what I would really like to know is, which one of your friends ran over Max in 2001? Was it Matt? or Brad?? Or your old girlfriend? Were they intoxicated?
Well, whoever it was, I hope they sent Max a big BOWL of truffles and massaged his belly on a regular basis and took him for long strolls along the beach after that because, I too George, am no stranger to trauma. The whole reason I was adopted and now live with 2Truthy is because my parents were addicted to internet gambling and neglected me by forgetting to feed me on a regular basis. This caused me to develop a serious gastrointestinal problem, exacerbated by binge eating and night sweats.
Anyway, if you are ever in SF and just want to talk, you can always count on me.
Your new friend,
Quincy
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