Romney and Obama on the Same Ticket?

Mitt and Barack: Long Lost Cousins After All?

We absolutely don't care if there's a Muslim in the White House because now that we know Mormons and Muslims are practically or probably the same religion, all good Christians can safely bet on a Romney/Obama ticket to take them to the next One Big Money Party level.


In fact, the more we learn about the non-Christian, self-proclaimed Christian faith of multiple wives Mormonism and its second or ninety-eighth cousin six times removed religion of Islam, the more we find that it is impossibly likely that founders Muhammad and John Smith enjoyed getting laid a whole lot more than all of the other status quo religious spirit children combined back in the day.


Here’s a little story that (above video) that tells you everything you need to know about how the Mormon Jesus and NOT that one who lived someplace in the Middle East a couple thousand years ago is the right one for America. Not only that, but check out how much Barack Obama and his lobbyist pals and Mitt have so much in common by clicking on the links below. So go grab yourself a box of Pepperidge Farm pirouettes and a coke, sit back, tell your boss to fuck off and watch the video.
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Doesn’t this just make you want to call up Martha Stewart’s boyfriend and head straight to outerspace?


The parallels between the two religions and candidates are nothing short of perplexing (or baffling, depending on which team you bat for.) Since we already know about the sober-thinking and sober-reasoning practice of dead Muslim men getting the 72 virgins thing and, to be fair, Islam was around before Mormonism officially ignited sometime around 1833 in the Midwest before John Smith got thrown out of there (we don’t know if it was for boffing the mayor’s wife ), these two religions go together just like soup and sandwich (sans the ham) or like Dems and Repubs or like, hey yeah, Mitt and Barack! Stand them sideways and ask them about their policies and non-policies on Iraq, healthcare, immigration, drivers licenses, their mutual commitment to selling out jobs, Trent Lott’s resignation, who has more of many of the same lobbyists on their team and why, you can hardly see them!


Just think: a vote for these two can save your immortal soul some political capital before Congressman Dr. Ron Paul beats you to it and spends it all on fake gold doubloons that may be tainted with lead or melamine or some other shit from China.

-2Truthy