Friday, February 20, 2009

The Gay Swami Times: Stimulus Saves Microsoft Billionaire Hundreds of Millions

“The noble soul drinks poison with a smile, detached and desireless, he needs no fame or recognition.” –Lord Shiva

“Everyone smiles when they are offered Sees Candy, but what happens when people throw eggs at their avatars?” –The Gay Swami

Welcome to The Gay Swami Times, Vol. 1, Issue 6. Click here for prior issues.

This week brings victorious news that Billionaire Paul Allen, a Microsoft cofounder and owner of both the NFL's Seattle Seahawks and the NBA's Portland Trailblazers is going to be about ONE BILLION DOLLARS RICHER thanks to President Obama’s stimulus bill!

As the ancient, tantric-wealth saying goes,

“when the ego becomes completely insipid, even if the Self becomes complete, the bank account becomes horribly dry.”

But as most CEOs and executives in-the-know embrace the Gay Swami’s celestial message “spiritual progress is made possible by opening your hearts to others, and getting them to open their wallets even wider” at the deepest, most intimate levels, true enlightenment and success can only be achieved by a one-time income windfall to fall in your lap.

Don’t forget to sign up for The Gay Swami’s upcoming, stimulating seminar in the Financial District:


The Master’s Narrative: 8 Moves towards CEO transnational positioning to bring you closer to your dreamy H-1B.



Citizen Carrie said...

Maybe Paul Allen can bring an NHL team to the region to compete against the Vancouver Canucks? And heck, why not bring in an NBA team to replace the SuperSonics, then buy out the Seattle Mariners while he's at it!

2Truthy said...

And check out those two boats!

Even the Gay Swami himself marvels:

"THAT's some major Karma when loot just falls into some billionaires laps as if they were adorned with the blood of spring lambs, yet passes over others as if they're inflicted with one of the dreadful ten plagues transmitted by barnyard animals."