Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Gay Swami Times U.S. Stimulus Bill Special Report

(click on graphic to enlarge)
-U.S. Stimulus Bill Includes H-1B Pleasure Trysts with Your Brother, First Cousins and Perhaps Barnyard Animals, too-

Welcome back to The Gay Swami Times, Vol. 1, Issue 5. (Or whatever our new numbering convention is.)
Click here for previous releases.

In exciting news this week, the Stimulus Bill has passed, releasing with it a distinctly bovine, gassy odor not unlike last week’s forgotten lamb biryani takeout still in the trunk of your car.

With so much odious, bad karma thrown into the “Stimulus Bill” by “incestuous” hustlers selected by the Obama administration to “advise” them, corporate water boy investment bankers like Tim Geithner from Goldman Sachs have a new, intimate caste of characters from Citigroup’s Alternative Investment division to help sodomize America’s white collar middle class. This arousing report reveals that recent appointees include Mark A. Patterson, a former lobbyist at Goldman Sachs, who is now the chief of staff to the Treasury secretary:

“It seems to be an incestuous financial relationship situation here,” Mr. Shelby said at a Senate hearing last week, referring to senior Treasury executives, like Mr. Patterson, who once worked at investment banks. “And that’s very troubling not only to a lot of people on this committee but to the American people.”


“Michael Froman, another former chief financial officer at the Citigroup division, has joined the White House staff as deputy assistant to the president and deputy national security adviser for international economic affairs. Both Mr. Lew and Mr. Froman are well respected in Washington for their extensive government experience, which includes work in the Clinton administration on budget matters, in Congress and on international financial affairs. But their shift to the Obama administration from Citigroup has raised questions about the potential for conflicts of interest, and about whether Mr. Obama’s own staff members benefited from the kinds of Wall Street excesses he has criticized.”

Quoth the Gay Swami:

“Hahahaha! Even the Grassley/Sanders H-1B amendment (SA306) that was supposed to be a “precedent” to stop giving away American jobs to India is in a bad position for white collar American workers, if you know what I mean, and won’t help them since the AILA and Chamber of Commerce are seeking to destroy it. More business for us, Tata and Wipro and our friends, the American Immigration Lawyers Association and good friends like Bill “Give Me Infinite H-1Bs” Gates and John “Do Me Like a Slumdog” Chambers to help us take the white collar jobs from Americans. Hahahahaha! That’s what I call a stimulus!”

The Gay Swami also wishes to inform our readers that the greedy corporate overlords like Bill Gates, to name one of several who have sold out America’s white collar middle class citizens to our beloved India in exchange for H-1B visas, are certain to come back in their next lives as mosquitoes. Or deer flies.



Citizen Carrie said...

2Truthy, us middle-class Americans are a pretty resilient bunch. Gates, Chambers et al have shot us, tied us up and tossed us into the river, unleashed killer microbes on us, hit us over our heads with shovels, set us on fire and tried to dismember our corpses, but still we keep coming back. They must be getting exhausted!

prezdumas said...

Ah yes, Citizen Carrie. We have as many infinite lifetimes to transcend their oppression as they have H-1bs:)