Wednesday, February 4, 2009

IBM Offers to Move Jobless Workers to India: The Gay Swami Times Vol.4, Issue 4

(click on graphic to enlarge)
IBM Offers to Move Jobless Workers to India… “Go Offshore Yourself !”

Welcome back to The Gay Swami Times, Vol. 4, Issue 4. (Pay no attention to the typo in the above cover graphic that reads “Vol. 6.” After contractor “Kevin” in Hyderabad promised to not ever send us typos again, he did anyway.)

Click here for previous releases.

Today, we report exciting news from this Information Week article by Paul McDougall on how IBM has almost one-upped Bill “I want Infinite H-1B Visas” Gates on this race to the bottom –for this nation’s CEOs seeking exhilirating H-1B pleasure trysts.

IBM has figured out a way to get its sacked and whiny American white collar workers off its back by shipping them the hell outta here to the most sophisticated and exotic place under the sun (you guessed our favorite place): INDIA!

One IBM spokesman said that “a lot of people want to live in India”, which might explain why a bunch of upscale American professionals would want to roam the hot, smelly and overcrowded, rat infested alleys of Bangalore with the cows and forego modern plumbing and their country club memberships.

But another spokesman for Alliance@IBM, a workers' group that's affiliated with the Communications Workers of America but which does not have official union status at IBM, slammed the program.

"IBM is not only offshoring IBM U.S. jobs but they want employees to offshore themselves through Project Match," said the spokesman.

Hmm. And what is Project Match? An ingenious invention of IBM to downsize white collar Americans to dung:

"IBM has established Project Match to help you locate potential job opportunities in growth markets where your skills are in demand," IBM says in an internal notice on the initiative. "Should you accept a position in one of these countries, IBM offers financial assistance to offset moving costs, provides immigration support, such as visa assistance, and other support to help ease the transition of an international move. Under a program called Project Match, IBM will help workers laid off from domestic sites obtain travel and visa assistance for countries in which Big Blue has openings.”

Everyone knows that the “corporate globalization project” is code for “eat cow dung, American white collar worker!”

As The Gay Swami’s patented and trademarked mantra goes,

Americans are not like us, they are stupid fools who are stuck in the “rolling over like dog lotus position” and are giving away the store…HAHAHAHA!...their leader instructs them to sacrifice their jobs…HAHAHAHAHA! And they DO!”

America leads the world in white collar jobs being its number one export! Now that corporate overlords in America have "too many unemployed professionals hanging around", why not ship 'em to the 3rd world? "They won't use up precious yet deteriorating and neglected public services, they're not around to cause any trouble, and you can always hire 'em back when the economy improves."

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…my Sweet Lord…



Citizen Carrie said...

What's really amazing is that I've heard reports from an acquaintance about one or two hulking IBM buildings in the country that were almost completely empty. The person who told me this said it was eerie to walk onto an almost completely darkened floor and just see a few terminals lit up here and there with a few people working away. Another thing about these buildings was that most of the people he saw weren't even IBM employees but were contractors working for lousy pay and benefits. They were working on jobs that were way totally beneath them, but were all just "hoping to get their foot in the door" at IBM.

This person hasn't worked there for a year now, so I don't know what it's like now. Something tells me it can't be much better now.

So now you get IBM employees who are used to having buildings the size of a city block all to themselves moving to areas that are filled with stinking, teeming masses.

2Truthy said...

"They were working on jobs that were way totally beneath them, but were all just "hoping to get their foot in the door" at IBM."

Right. The U.S. has too many educated citizens and our "best and brightest" corporate leaders have nothing for them to do anymore since they want to be paid serious wages. And since money is scarce and of course, they don't want any pesky plebs getting their hands on it, the only thing these patriotic one-world lightbulbs can "innovate" are American worker pink slips.

This might explain why our leaders in the Senate are talking about pulling up the drawbridge on the U.S. educational system.

Where/when does the slave labor search in this race to the bottom stop? At what point do the rulers of Wall Street "sacrifice" so that the lives of Main Street workers might improve? I don't know, but maybe if Wall Street's rule of besting quarterly reports from the previous year would disappear, that could be a good place to start.