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The Gay Swami Times 2010 State of the Union Address
Our virgin 2010 issue features an exclusive State of the Union Address by His Holiness, Himself, THE GAY SWAMI. What this means, exactly, is that the Venerable One had to do all the pre and post edit research, graphics, layout and design work himself since our former, horribly cheap H-1B visa holders in Philadelphia have now either upped their fees or have been turned away at the airports under a mushroom cloud of suspicion in their quest to steal jobs from the unemployed Americans.
Our exciting news begins with the anticipated 2010 SOTU address tonight by President “Hooverville” Barack Obama, where THE GAY SWAMI will be hosting a first time ever Mangotini Marathon shots bender. All participants need to do is hit the liquor cabinet, pour some Bombay Gin into a tumbler of ice and sprinkle two packets of Kool-Aid brand flavored “Mango High-life” and shake. Do NOT stir. Then, every time Obama tells a lie or wanders off into the weeds about Wall Street bankers pay that does NOT affect your miserable Main Street life when he should be exposing the hidden truths behind the steamy, lusty corporate Man Crush deals brokered by US politicians to STEAL YOUR JOBS and give them to our imported guest workers, take a big gulp. After that, take another.
Other 2010 exhilarating stories include:
- Is Bernanke Dragging Down the Democrats or is he IN Drag?
- Warning: Cell Phones May be Hazardous to Your Health! So is Smoking! But The Gay Swami is Immune and has INFINITE Lifetimes of Pleasure Trysts to Explore!
- Bar Foreign Money from U.S. Politics? NEVER! Hell Hath No Fury Against Those Who Would Quash the Man Crush!
- Legal Outsourcers Now LEGALLY Stealing AMERICAN Lawyer Jobs, too! And Americans actually ALLOW it!
And More...
Eventually, the foolish and bamboozled Americans who swallowed our sob story and "best and brightest" fibs will start getting tired of throwing things at the plasma screen. This is fine. Just as long as they don't start throwing them at ME. Ommmmmmm...
-THE GAY SWAMI
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