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“If the teacher is corrupt, the city will be, too!”
-The Gay Swami
Ex-Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel to Run for Mayor of Chicago!
The Gay Rahmi Kicks Off Chicago Tell It Like It Fu*king Is Tour
Get Behind Rahm!
Welcome back to The Gay Swami Times. Click here for previous issues.
Today we celebrate celestial news that dreamy Hizzoner Rahm Emanuel (click here for his blog) has officially declared his Chicago run for Mayor! The Gay Rahmi's "Tell It Like It Is" listening tour of Chicago is leading him to all kinds of exotic locales to progressively bridge the “enthusiasm gap” by listening to people in places like the N. Kimaball Home Depot, the Diversey River Bowl and train stations, too:
"As I prepare to run for mayor, I'm going to spend the next few weeks visiting our neighborhoods -- at grocery stores, L stops, bowling alleys and hot dog stands," Emanuel said. "I want to hear from you -- in blunt Chicago terms -- what you think about our city, and how the next mayor and you can make it better."
One minor fly in the ointment involves a residency evil dispute that some malicious experts say may disqualify him from running, but this is Chicago, right? It's NOT like it's Delhi or New Jersey or anything. This is the Second City known for its glorious, worldclass corruption standards where constant friction between moral pantywaists and lying, corrupt politicians create a melting pot for grand scale thievery unlike anyplace known to the galaxy! No suspicious legal maneuvering should prevent enlightened Rahm from winning his rightful seat. Om.
The Gay Swami predicts that Rahm will elude these bed bugs who would present such odious and trivial roadblocks to his inevitable SUCCESS, because a person can always make spiritual progress under the guidance of a corrupt master! “The Gay Rahmi shall triumph over his fluffy opponents to win the hearts and souls (the dead voters have a ballot, too!) and wallets of the people of Chicago!”
“A desire arises in the mind. It is satisfied immediately after a higher power comes to rectify the residency requirement.”
-His Holiness, the Swami Salami
-THE GAY SWAMI