Ralph Nader: Quincy Onboard The Nation Cruise

FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY

Hubbard Glacier, AK Oh boy, everybody! What could be better than sailing around Alaska with a boat load of liberals like Ralph Nader and Katrina vanden Heuvel? Well that’s exactly what I am doing this week, as I set sail with other like-minded Nation readers from Seattle on The ms Oosterdam for the tenth annual NATION CRUISE. Our travel escort has really made my voyage perfect. He and his dog, who has been hanging around with me ever since we set sail on Sunday while I cover this upscale, high-seas romp, couldn't be more gracious!

Everybody said “Quincy, why do you want to go on a cruise ship to ALASKA?” but do you know what? I am not the least bit chilly and my accommodations in steerage have been very nice since the head chef, let's call him Hans, has become very fond of me and is feeding me all kinds of juicy dishes from the Pinnacle Grill including selected cuts of Sterling Silver beef and let me tell you, he is sparing no expense when it comes to dessert and a vintage Rombauer Zinfandel to wash it down with. Mrs. Ethel Beasley, a philanthropist from Wichita, Kansas who befriended me in the pool yesterday has expressed concern that Chef Hans “may be using me” and perhaps that he has a “luau fetish” and for me to proceed with caution, especially if he starts offering me apples.

With all these amenities and distractions, I plan to do lunch with Ralph Nader and discuss his political views after a pre-arranged, ad-hoc session tomorrow but so far, between snapping pictures of Katrina vanden Heuvel in a leopard skin bikini and beseeching Richard Dreyfuss to do his psychiatrist imitation where he is having a nervous breakdown in “What About Bob?”, I have been a bit busy with all the gaiety.

So far, I have been enjoying the excitement of the Promenade decks--a playground of theaters, lounges, boutiques and plenty of winding, narrow corridors and laundry chutes in the vessel’s underbelly for a Pig to get completely lost in! But I really can’t wait to get to Victoria, BC on Friday where we will all pile off the ship and mingle with the locals there where I have made arrangements to do some antique shopping with Mrs. Beasley and a brisk stroll the botanical gardens.

I HAVE TO GO NOW AND SHOW MY STARBOARD SIDE BECAUSE THE LIFEBOAT DRILL ALARM JUST SOUNDED.

BON VOYAGE, EVERYBODY!


QUINCY