Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tom Siebel Trampled by Tanzanian Elephant

-Billionaire Tom Siebel-
(AP Photo Credits/John Todd)

-Elephant, the Serengeti, Tanzania-

Breaking News

Woodside, CA -- Billionaire and former Siebel Systems CEO Tom Siebel sustained major injuries after being brutally charged by an elephant while on an African safari in the Serengeti on August 1.

Gruesome details of the attack have now surfaced that the 55 year-old Silicon Valley billionaire (the same one who is rumored to have written up his sales executives for laughing amongst themselves in their cubicles) is recuperating from broken ribs and legs after an elephant allegedly charged at him and a tour guide, where the animal suddenly

"plowed into the guide and then attacked him, breaking several ribs, goring him in the left leg and crushing the right leg."

The report also states that Siebel expects to make a full recovery after reconstructive surgery and physical therapy.

Tom Siebel is no stranger of Lady Luck, who never ceases to turn up snake eyes. Not only did he move from Illinois to Silicon Valley in the eighties with the expressed intention to "make a lot of money" and did, but this triumphant brush in the Serengeti is yet more proof of the "Life is Good" pith-helmet persuasion that some cats, indeed, survive more than one life.

Get well, Tom!



prez said...

I read Tom's account of the attack.

It seems that the elephant was 200 yards away. The guide positioned himself four yards in front of Tom. The elephant took a notice of them and started charging. It plowed through the guide, tossing him aside with it's trunk and continued to Tom. It paused and took a good 3 second look at Tom.

It then attacked. It took it's time. It stomped, kicked and impaled him.

That elephant did not LIKE Tom Siebel.

2Truthy said...

Yessiree prez, that big fat, 6 ton Tanzanian mofo musn't of liked Tom so much - bypassing the guide (who HAD the gun) and zeroing in on him and all...I mean, did Tom fire this wooly mammoth or screw it out of stock options in a past life or what?

U r talking about the Forbes article:

I like the part where Tom says right before the grey beast charged him, he's thinking "Okay, what are we going to do now?"...Now, he's on the mend with a healthy prognosis.