FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY
Dear Ms. Arianna Huffington,
It's me, QUINCY.
It's me, QUINCY.
As you may already know, 2Truthy adopted me a few months ago as my parents were addicted to internet gambling and I became a ward of the state. It was a blessing in disguise, because, as a result, I have amassed more intel about politics and the entertainment industry than you might imagine for one humble domestic pet and barnyard animal with an IQ of 172...
My many superlative JOURNALISTIC skills include, among other things, touch typing, answering multi-line phones, balancing and serving coffee on my snout, insulting offensive entertainment, editorial and investment poseurs who dress up in sheep's clothing (believe me, I can smell them a MILE away), and in discretely keeping all other nuisance bearing blogger SOBs at bay. My references are of the finest caliber, bar none (available upon request.)
In addition, I am fluent in four languages besides English which include French, German, Spanish and Farsi and am available to handle high-level translations between any troll or mole or online blowhard as needed. I am not, however, available to start until late February as 2Truthy is taking me to Whistler for the annual family ski-trip -- so would that still be OK?
Also, your ad did not disclose the salary or the perks...Did I mention that I am only interested in the PAID position?
Please send all confidential inquiries to 2Truthy's email address below as I still don't have my own email account yet due to my recent move. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.
My many superlative JOURNALISTIC skills include, among other things, touch typing, answering multi-line phones, balancing and serving coffee on my snout, insulting offensive entertainment, editorial and investment poseurs who dress up in sheep's clothing (believe me, I can smell them a MILE away), and in discretely keeping all other nuisance bearing blogger SOBs at bay. My references are of the finest caliber, bar none (available upon request.)
In addition, I am fluent in four languages besides English which include French, German, Spanish and Farsi and am available to handle high-level translations between any troll or mole or online blowhard as needed. I am not, however, available to start until late February as 2Truthy is taking me to Whistler for the annual family ski-trip -- so would that still be OK?
Also, your ad did not disclose the salary or the perks...Did I mention that I am only interested in the PAID position?
Please send all confidential inquiries to 2Truthy's email address below as I still don't have my own email account yet due to my recent move. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.
I can't wait to become your NEW BLOG INTERN!
Sincerely,
QUINCY
Los Altos, CA
1 comment:
Yo Quincy, hate to tell ya but the Huffpo has gone the way of Mainpo..
Your a wonkette man, buddy.
Former censored Huffpo blogger
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