Saturday, February 17, 2007

George Clooney: Chinese New Year Hijacked by Muslims Censoring Pigs


FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY
"Both adults and children believe pigs are a lucky symbol, which bring fortune and wealth," Tenlow's Wu Ying said. "Their plumpness means prosperity." - Wu Ying


HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!




TODAY BEGINS THE CHINESE NEW YEAR, THE YEAR OF THE PIG. George Clooney is the first person who comes to mind after reading this NPR Weekend Edition Sunday, February 18, 2007 article

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7480083


But how do you celebrate THE YEAR OF THE PIG without pigs?

Can somebody explain to me why, in the 21st Century, Muslims have a taboo on watching pigs on TV? In Shanghai, it is reported today that Muslims living in China say "seeing pig images on TV would make them feel very uncomfortable." So I am really wondering what George Clooney would say or do to save the bacon of millions of domestic pets and barnyard animals all across the globe if he only knew that this kind of censorship AND discrimination was happening in China!

According to NPR, Pigs have been banned from appearing in any ads on the state-run broadcaster, CCTV, after an order that is now surrounded by confusion. So what are they thinking over there in China? Don't they know that they stand to lose billions of dollars in advertising revenue alone by banning my highly appreciated brothers and sisters from lucrative contracts? If only George Clooney would champion this interspecies rights cause and convince his Hollywood neighbors of the importance of this vital, global issue.

And even though the Tenlow Brands SM, (Snack Manager), Wu Ying concurs


"Both adults and children believe pigs are a lucky symbol, which bring fortune and wealth" and that "their plumpness means prosperity", where are politically savvy actors like George Clooney to put some fresh spin in support of his favorite species?


While the Chinese government chalks up the ban as "harmonious", I find this government censorship most unfair because if everybody in the rest of the world ALSO discriminated against domestic pets and barnyard animals, then I and millions of others most certainly would permanently be out of a job and eventually become EXSTINKED. No, extinct. Ok.

Even big multinationals are aware of the sensitivities, reports Louisa Lim. Whereby a "Coca-Cola ad features a cute, Babe-like piglet braving mean city streets to get home for the Chinese New Year", according to Coke headquarters, things now go better with panda bears -- because the company later shot a SECOND version using PANDAS --- yes, PANDA BEARS --- instead! How come the Chinese don't care about rationality and favor religious extremist superstition?

Speaking of "Babe-like piglets"... and what a coincidence -- did you know that most recently, I lost an audition to this very serendipic, and quite frankly, empty headed and vacuous counterpart featured in the NPR article? Anyway, I just knew that this 'Babe' HAD to have been related or somehow beholden to the director, because if you could have been there to hear my 'harmonious' and perfect Jack Nicholson impersonation from "The Departed" (the part where he delivers my favorite line "We're A Nation Of Rats"), it was clear that I should have landed the part for this Chinese television advertisement.


Memo to George Clooney: Why not incorporate the following slogan into your new pet movie and or political campaign project:

"Don't allow Muslim extremism to take over the entertainment profession because it not only hurts profits but it discriminates against pigs!" No mincing words, here. Just come out with it.

Think of Max's honor, George, and how your championship would bring pride upon his immortal soul, knowing that you did the DECENT thing for our multicultural and interspecies survival.

-Quincy

4 comments:

jerseymike said...

I can't fucking believe this happened. Guess they don't have a sense of humor. It is disturbing to know that the Chinese government is swayed by such bullshit superstition. Religions should be ignored by governments.

Anonymous said...

Quincy, why don't you run for President?

babe-olert said...

I will never, as long as I live, eat in a Chinese restaurant again!

Anonymous said...

a coca-cola ad features a cute, babe-like piglet braving mean city streets to get home for the chinese new year.

Signed,

the yahoo troll