Monday, August 13, 2007
Continued Chinese Threats To U.S. Economy: China To Trademark All U.S. Restaurants
(Reuters)—Hu Jintao, Leader of the People's Republic of China and General Secretary of the Communist Party of China issued a scathing communiqué earlier today denouncing the “scheming, capitalist mongrels who, with their sulfurous belches have stolen the heritage, the birthright and the egg rolls of our beloved Motherland.” In a move certain to have profound effects on the dining habits of customers from San Francisco to New York, the American public is bracing for what appears to be a user fee the Chinese government has imposed on every food item of Chinese derivation from fried rice to egg foo young. A list of over four thousand items was drawn up by the Glorious and Supreme Council of Chinese Food and Beverages and, as of press time, it was still unclear whether or not number 573 on that list, Fried Crap with Big Awful, was a typo.