Friday, October 3, 2008

$700 Billion Wall Street Bailout "Rescue" Bill Spares No Bacon

Which part of the pig gives tax breaks to rum makers?
(Photo credit/story special thanks to Lee Brandenburg at


Hello Everybody, it’s me. QUINCY,

Guess What? The Wall Street Bailout Bill Blows even MORE than it did yesterday!

Instead of the House curbing its insatiable appetite for the other white meat today by imposing a long overdue national ban on Pork, the Wall Street Bailout overindulged way bigtime.

Anyway, the Bailout Bill by these blowhards heaped on so many extra servings of spare ribs, chops and bacon that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid were found this morning huddling around the Hill’s lavatory with so much indigestion text messaging E-bay orders for dozens and dozens of cases of Pepto-Bismol they had to special order from China (on credit with extra interest) for the whole Congress to wash it all down!

Mr. Lee Brandenburg from explains in painful detail how

“our career politicians obviously can’t summon the “courage” to change their votes without getting a whole lot of bacon in return. Exactly how much pork did it take for them to sell out their principles this time? $150.5 billion.”

If something doesn’t smell right about the Wall Street Billionaire Bailout Bill signed today, well, that’s because the barbecue spits are rotating full-bore on Capitol Hill with this half-baked Rump Session legislation passed by all the corpulent Senators and Congress critters on the U.S. Turkey Farm (that also goes by the name “United States Government.”)

I’ll tell you something else…nothing can replace a good old-fashioned plate of hummus, tabouli and organic, free range chicken or tofu skewers soaked in Budweiser (and not rum) on the back yard barbie so, while you still have some funds left in your bank (providing it hasn’t gone under), I say “instead of heading out to that Move-On party to support Obama, invite Obama and his peeps over to your backyard BBQ instead and show him what a real party looks like without ever having to sacrifice one single Pig!”

Ciao Everybody,


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