The Gay Swami Times

-The Gay Swami-

FROM THE DESK OF QUINCY

Happy 2009, Everybody!


Did you know that Silicon Valley has no *openly gay* executives and CEO’s?

That’s why many of them along with venture capitalists (a vc is somebody who knows how to inflate the value of a start-up and then rack up a bunch of money to spread around among themselves) who come here from the East coast marry a disproportionate number of grumpy old DAR’s (Daughters of the American Revolution) to be their beards. Even though a lot of them (2Truthy’s best friend is a DAR so not ALL of them are stuffy) are a bunch of unattractive, whiney old battle-axes who make sure “Paul” or “John” or “Colin” stay on rigid vegetarian diets of dangling tofu-ham shanks with ancho chili-pepper seasoned bulgher wheat and never, ever allow them to leave the house without perfectly creased, extra-tight Campagnolo Men's Carbon Bib bicycle shorts, the hidden cult of Silicon Valley’s secretive, in the closet gay executive/CEO community has spread to India where the practice of soliciting gay friendships can be maximized by throwing in a few stock options in exchange for a harem of willing, indentured servants to fulfill their otherworldly ponzi scheme fantasies.

Here is an exciting magazine called “The Gay Swami” that blows the lid off all the wealthy ones who want to be secret and even more wealthy so they hire slave workers.



Anyway, just a short hop from the city of San Francisco where some of the most creative minds in the industry live, the secretive, ponzi-schemy ones can be found about thirty five miles to the south with “Sand Hill Road” post office box addresses while the rest of the hard working, honest and REAL gay community (as I reported in this special segment: San Francisco Gay Pride Parade: Quincy Live from the Castro) struggles to keep their agency side, promo-pitching and copy-editing work from being outsourced to slavey boy workers during this country’s Great Depression.


Why is it that only the sneaky, bad people keep making the news and always get pleasant surroundings when they get arrested for their corporate crimes? Even Martha Stewart had only nice things to say about her pleasant stay in the slammer.


I have to go now and stake out a privately held, shadowy group of green technology investors’ attempt to get a local politician to seduce signatures from unsuspecting taxpayers so they can avoid paying money out of their own pockets to pay their salaries.

Well, for 2009, the New Year’s resolution for all closet ponzi schemers should be to come out of the closet and stop hiring slave labor.

Have a Nice Day,

QUINCY