Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Gay Swami Times: Vol. 2 Issue 2 February 2009

(Click on photo to enlarge)

Welcome back to our second special edition of The Gay Swami Times.

In our virgin kick-off
first issue last week, The Gay Swami explored the depths of man lust underpinning the intimate, behind the scenes trysts between American CEO John Chambers, Bill Gates and Indian outsourcing Satyam’s criminal, former CEO, B. Raju Ramalinga.

“It’s not just the bottom line these CEOs are after -- if you know what I’m saying...”

revealed one close source who requested anonymity.

Right after Intel’s CEO Andy Grove announced he was laying off 5,000 workers, CEO Bill “Ride Me Like a Yogi” Gates is slashing at least 5,000 employees from Microsoft’s payroll, too, so he can then turn around and hire an “infinite number” of H-1b visa holders from India! News reports explain:

“Although Microsoft plans to cut 5,000 jobs in total, its overall workforce is not expected to drop that much, as it continues to hire--albeit at a lower rate--in key areas.”

Why would Bill Gates prefer to stumble over newly-minted homeless American professionals along the sidewalks of America?

“The limp relationship with American IT guys is so over. Nobody gives a damn about them. They’re too much trouble. This layoff is just the start… I had to wait around for a while to see how Andy (Grove) over at Intel was going to hang onto his nuts, too. No, no, no, you don’t get it. You don’t understand economics or man crushes or ANYTHING. Indian guys are so much more flexible than these whiny, overeducated American guys with their wives and kids and mortgages and vacations -– Indians will do anything you want – ANYTHING. And hey, they’ll even work for free and do you know what else? With the Economy in the can the way it is now, I’m seriously thinking about taking them up on that one, too.”

Oh Gay Swami, what’s next?

Stay tuned next week for Issue 3 of “The Gay Swami Times” where The Gay Swami climbs all over a few surprisingly connected Beltway and Silicon Valley vc's in the upcoming, world exclusive special report “Man Crushes of Climate Change”.



sftierney said...

These ceos think "Indians will do whatever you want" and maybe Obama will pull an Abraham Lincoln and free us from these greedy slave overlords.I use the term "free us" to mean stop hiring all these other people when it has got to be obvious to people by now what it going on.

2Truthy said...

I'm thinking Hoover. I like your Abe Lincoln comparison to Obama in this context, but at the rate he's going with these pro-tech lobby administration picks, the landscape around this country is going to look more like OBAMAVILLES unless he doesn't clamp down on corporate fraud and outsourcing.

thetownliar said...

That swami looks like he was packed into a suitcase for fifty years.

(You do know that the practice of yoga was invented to relieve overcrowding for those living in cramped living quarters, don't you?)

Anonymous said...

The Indians WILL do whatever you want. Until THEY get what THEY want. Then they will shove a ghee-slathererd jepati up your ass. And the ghee is used ONLY if you helped them get their H-1B visas. If not, you get it dry. We have sent billions in aid to India. Still, they want to come here and take our jobs. A bowl of rice and a jitney are not enough. Now they want a Harley and a blonde.

thetownliar said...

Yes, they certainly will, anonymous.

I just got back from Bangalore.

A curious caste of "I want what you have" is swelling the heads of many a billion of this population, yearning to perfect not the King's English but the art of sodomizing the average American.

"Bollywoodism", where American media bosses and politicians are cramming Indian culture down the collective throat of the utterly clueless and complicit America in hopes of making the transition to the low caste more warm and fuzzy for Americans.

Oh, the average Indian businessman thinks nothing of double-backing on deals. This much I am accustomed to; yet the frenetic, high pitched insistence that "they" are "us" now as they progress to seize jobs from this country has reached a boiling point. They think Obama is "their" president- no surprise here, for obvious reasons. They believe that they are owed our jobs, but when I return here, it is astounding how clueless Joe Citizen is about this problem.

The only Americans traveling over there do so for business purposes or because they are unaware of its filthy, cutthroat and impoverished social conditions and got suckered by some online travel site's glossy brochures of the Taj.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. thetownliar,

I am stunned at the depth of your knowledge and understanding of this issue. Stunned and heartened but nonetheless anxious for the future. I now work in an ad agency in Chicago with the same clueless rabble you speak of. Previously, I spent 25 years overseas living and teaching in 8 different countries. Never ONCE did I attend a Diversity Seminar wherein the locals were taught deference to me or other cultures. I am fed up sir, and I suspect you are too. When will it be revealed that the Emperor has no clothes. And that the diversity hook is a scam for corporate America?

What are we to do??


Melvin Toast

Anonymous said...

The Gay Swami Times is relevant for all deluded sheep who continue to believe that their U.S. president and the American CEOS are GODS sent down from the mountain to save them.Witness the 24/7 rhetoric of pitting black vs. white;Union vs. Non-union;rich vs. poor;hope vs.despair;and yet none of it addresses the slick hustle of ripping off jobs from the American worker,or at least the good paying ones.How do professionals organize?I heard Obama say the other day that unions have to back off because (to paraphrase) "you can't unionize jobs that are disappearing or don't exist."Fair enough.If it were not such a magician's trick!!!!since Obama knows that the purge of good paying jobs has been and is ORGANIZED by these CEOS that your Gay Swami Times talks about.Will the Swami talk about the politicans who profit from it?

2Truthy said...

How true about yoga and contortionism - that swami is impressive...I haven't been to India, but have heard from friends who have that it is so overcrowded and unpleasant. No wonder they want to come here. But at what cost to this country's citizens? What is the Indian government and local business community doing to lift up their own citizens?
It only makes sense that during an economic depression, the brakes on recruiting people from other countries should be hit.

Great point about other countries not holding "Diversity Seminars." Other countries laugh at the U.S. citizens -- not the U.S. government (many hate the U.S. government, and the Bush dynasty didn't help)for 'rolling over and playing dead' (isn't that a yoga pose?) on this wholesale job outsourcing giveaway our politicians in this Obama admin. are backing.

Thanks for the plug on the relevancy of the GST. How to organize? Good question. Probably what Saul Alinsky would do: befriend the right bosses and anything's possible.

Obama's point on unionizing jobs that don't exist is a very good one. There is only so much a business can do to create jobs, which is not to say I give a pass to guys like Gates or Chambers etc. for profit hording, a different matter entirely.
"Unions vs. Management" is always a dance, with one not divinely 'right' over the other.