(Photo credits James Duncan Davidson/TED)
Bill Gates Releases Mosquitoes, Spreads Hubris Disease
For Immediate Release
Long Beach, CA – Bill Gates knows something about bugs. Bill “Give Me Infinite H-1B Visas” Gates shocked a crowd of “technology kings” and other premiere “luminaries and visionaries” Wednesday at the annual TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) Conference when he released mosquitoes into the audience.
One So. Cal LWOH stealth operative in attendance marveled over the ease with which Gates “released the hubris disease” on the pampered yet panicked audience who feared for their safety, “and possibly their lives.” Furiously scrambling for blackberries to contact their personal physicians to double check on their vaccination records, Gates assured the terrified crowd that
“these here, these are the healthy, elite mosquitos with access to healthcare” and that “only poor people from other countries who need our h$lp get the diseased, skanky ones.”
The King of Hubris Himself marveled over his concern for people from other countries instead of people from his own. His adamant hatred for American white collar professionals took center stage as he explained to the wildly applauding, insider audience his displeasure with the new Grassley/Sanders proposed amendment which would make businesses of TARP money hire only Americans for one year. (Yours truly has been reporting on such American white collar job hits for years, as in this 2007 Citibank announcement, along with others such as AT&T’s Randall Stephenson to name a few who have been slashing and burning American white collar jobs for sport since 1993.) Gushed an exultant Gates:
“Vista sucks, everybody knows it and I’ve got to do something with myself. As you all know, if I were a TARP recipient, I’d be damned to let that magnificent bastard and good friend Chuck Grassley and Bernie Sanders tell me I had to hire Americans for one year. Hehe, that’s why I laid a bunch of them off already! Our TARP player pals at the banks on Wall Street did the same thing, too, hehe. We know how to beat the street. And Americans. Cut American jobs, service and development for one year (who cares!) It’s so, so great to be King!”
Silicon Valley Venture Capitalist/Businessman and Beltway insider Al Gore was of course on hand to rip the coal industry a new one for their shocking claims that “coal is clean.” Meanwhile, Naturally 7 “recreated the sound of musical instruments with their voices” that sounded like a cross between “The Flight of the Bumblebees” meets “Slash.”
Don’t you, dear pleb reader, wish you could have been an insect amongst such esteemed blood suckers on the wall for this exclusive soiree, too?