Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Larry Craig Loses Legal Appeal in Sex-Scandal

A Larry Craig Bathroom Refresher
Senate Seat or Toilet Seat
I cannot decide
I am not gay
Oh no, no way.

For Immediate Release

Idaho GOP Senator
Larry “Latrine Lothario” Craig has lost his latest attempt to withdraw his guilty plea after being arrested June 11, 2007, by an undercover police sting officer for cruising gay sex at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

Wonkette’s crack team of operatives and star commenters such as yours truly provided 24/7 stall to stall coverage on the Gay Old Pooper’s attempts to “expunge all hints at his gayness” and now it’s time to take a Larry Craig refresher below:

Larry Craig: Senate Seat or Toilet Seat? (Turn up the volume and sing along!)

Larry Craig Halloween Poetry Reading: The Raven (Shudder and rejoice in the terror)

Larry Craig: The Man in the Glass Stall (Channel your inner psychologist)



IN THE SENATE

by 2Truthy

Where can you go Horatio

To give a cop felatio

Search the world for blowjobs

Behind every bathroom stall

Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true

In the can or on the sea

Where can you learn to lie

Play some footsie and jive

Study choosing toilet seats

Sign up for the Senate
Or sit in the grandstand

You’re not gay to tap your feet...
(Chorus)
IN THE SENATE
WE CAN DO WHAT WE PLEASE
IN THE SENATE
WE GET DOWN ON OUR KNEES
IN THE SENATE
IF YOUR PLANE’S RUNNING LATE
IN THE SENATE
FIND SOMEONE TO FELATE
IN THE SENATE
AND STILL GET TO THE GATE
IN THE SENATE
IN BETWEEN QUORUM CALLS
IN THE SENATE
WE GET BLOWN IN THE STALLS
IN THE SENATE
YOU CAN MAKE A QUICK CONNECTION
WITH AN OFFICER’S ERECTION
AND STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE IT TO YOUR PLANE
IN THE SENATE
YOU CAN SIT IN THE CAN
IN THE SENATE
WHERE YOU CAN JOIN YOUR FELLOW MAN
IN THE SENATE
WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH DEBATE
IN THE SENATE
FIND SOMEONE TO FELATE
IN THE SENATE
SAY YOU'RE STRAIGHT WHEN YOU'RE NOT
IN THE SENATE JUST TRY NOT TO GET CAUGHT
IN THE SENATE WHERE’S A STRAIGHT MAN TO GO
FOR A BLOW – BLOW – BLOW -BLOW-
-Very special thanks to the Village People-




A Larry Craig Dr. Seuss Moment

A Seussian Tribute
Goes like this:
Better to have just
Gone in for a piss.


-2Truthy

Cross-posted at BlondeSense

4 comments:

Citizen Carrie said...

I can hardly wait 'til everyone leaves for work and school tomorrow so I can bellow out these lyrics out loud!

2Truthy said...

LOL~!

I'd say something here about starting the day by singing them in the shower, but I shall digress.............:)

One can always brush up their best Vincent Price impersonation and volunteer down at the Old Folks Home to read
LARRY CRAIG: THE RAVEN, too! Just in time for the Holidays.

Blondesense Liz said...

Oh ya gotta post this over at BS. You did such a better job than I would do.

On the news they were saying that Craig was looking through the crack of a stall for a full 2 minutes before he was busted for his wide stance. Sounds pretty incriminating to me.

2Truthy said...

"On the news they were saying that Craig was looking through the crack of a stall for a full 2 minutes before he was busted for his wide stance."


Thank you, Liz. Just like the above, this stuff just writes itself. "looking through the crack" etc. Oh Gawd, how something as trite as a "wide stance" forever taints our formerly pure psyches;)