Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Michele Bachmann: America 'Cursed' by God 'If We Don't Reject' Social Security, Medicare, Probably Not GMO Food


 Michele Bachmann Speaking through Yahweh, Abraham, Maybe Chertoff, Too


Land of Ten Thousand Flakes -- OK, at least one...Break out your snow plows, North Dakota! LWOH has learned here that Michele Bachmann has recently been preaching her own brand of craaazy, apocalyptic Fire 'n Brimstone scripture to some Jewish Republican big shots in Los Angeles. She will then be keynoting something called the Take Back Washington North Dakota event in exotic Bismarck this Friday night to spread her holy, terrifying warning word that God Himself “handed down” Israel to the United States. Bachmann threatened that if America should “pull back support for Israel”, we will all most assuredly go straight to absolute seed and “cease to exist.”

Cease to exist? Heavy stuff, here, and  Miss Christian  High Priestess probably is not talking locusts. More like a  post-empire, pre-seventh circle of hellish, poxy repeat performance of the Christmas Crotch Bomber evil stunt that actually works, maybe? We don't know! But her ominous havoc 'n mayhem cease to exist sermon to the L.A. temple dwellers might suggest what's coming will make Sodom & Gomorrah look like a moonlit, midnight walk in Central Park with beefy security detail - if you're into that sort of thing.

Here’s a transcript of some of her remarks at the RJC event, where we briefly summarize Bachmann's cryptic, Armageddonish sermon:

I am convinced in my heart and in my mind that if the United States fails to stand with Israel, that is the end of the United States . . . [W]e have to show that we are inextricably entwined, that as a nation we have been blessed because of our relationship with Israel, and if we reject Israel, then there is a curse that comes into play. And my husband and I are both Christians, and we believe very strongly the verse from Genesis [Genesis 12:3], we believe very strongly that nations also receive blessings as they bless Israel. It is a strong and beautiful principle.”

OK. What is likely meant here is that the U.S. only receives “blessings” when we don't piss off Rahm Emmanuel and his friends to avoid being mercilessly “cursed” at by Rahm with his overuse of the “F” word.
Right now in my own private Bible time, I am working through Isaiah . . . and there is continually a coming back to what God gave to Israel initially, which was the Torah and the Ten Commandments, and I have a wonderful quote from John Adams that if you will indulge me [while I find it] . . . [from his February 16, 1809 letter to Fran├žois Adriaan van der Kemp]:
I will insist that the Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation. If I were an atheist, and believed in blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations.”

We think this must have something to do with banking, although the passage “Right now, in my own private Bible time, I am working through Isaiah...” could "Isaiah" be a shadow contact involved in arms smuggling and or Nigerian money laundering?

If I were an atheist of the other sect, who believe or pretend to believe that all is ordered by chance, I should believe that chance had ordered the Jews to preserve and propagate to all mankind the doctrine of a supreme, intelligent, wise, almighty sovereign of the universe, which I believe to be the great essential principle of all morality, and consequently of all civilization.
. . . So that is a very long way to answer your question, but I believe that an explicit statement from us about our support for Israel as tied to American security, we would do well to do that.”

This lengthy passage reveals some mystifying confusion, starting with “If I were an atheist of the other sect...” What other kind of atheist sect is there? As far as we know, there is only ONE atheist sect whose holy charter is to die like dogs – unless she means the OTHER one is GOD – which is dog spelled backwards? Of course, this business about the supreme, intelligent, wise, almighty sovereign of the universe strongly raises some secretive relationships issues, as with chemistry research agencies to sow the seeds of terrestrial life throughout the universe. Everyone else on Bachmann's non-chosen list including those who want Social Security and Medicare can totally forget about that Armageddon Afterlife psychedelia shindig in the Sky.

Hey Michele - don't forget: The wife of Lot got turned to salt because she looked behind her.

-2Truthy

6 comments:

Tad Peckish said...

Miss Private Bible time thought she was going to impress an audience of GOP Jews by telling them... ...telling them that John Adams thought that were he an atheist, he'd be grateful to the Hebrews for making up the idea of a monotheistic supreme being, in order to keep the rabble in line, by providing a fictitious foundation for all morality... ...cuz people wouldn't behave if they knew Jehovah wasn't actually there, and couldn't see them fucking up?

I think I've got it. Yeah, I'll bet they were impressed.

Melvin Toast said...

I don't care if these people are buck-toothed, snake-handling Congregationalists -- it is the only well from which we draw, and will continue to draw, the selfless, loyal and bovinian rabble who will fight the Saracen to the death they so deserve.

Secular humanism will never win this fight. Only folks who actually believe there is more to life than light beer and Las Vegas will have a chance against an enemy driven onward by jihadist fiat from their god.

If not for Charles Martel, Paris would be Fenestration Station for the Ottoman Foreign Legion today. And today, there are no Charles Martels left. All we have are Glen Becks and Al Frankens -- clownish populists neglected by their fathers but breastfed by their mothers until they were teenagers who now seek power in the limelight from the people whose attention they crave.

There is no hope, only retreat into fear and darkness . . .

scotthomas said...

we should pray in times on crisis, its often the best way to ease our souls suffering , even tho we still ask are self's who is god http://www.who-is-god.us is he here to help me , can I serve him better ? What path should I take, lord take my hand guide me.

2Truthy said...

scotthomas, and after we "ask are self's who is god", we should also take time to reflect upon our positively screwy verbiage and punctuation abuses.

***

Mel, last time I checked, Bachmann was elected as a Congresswoman and not an anointed Preacher. Not to dispute the utility of useful idiots, but shouldn't useful idiots start electing U.S. Representatives to actually represent THEIR *mortal* interests instead of the Plutocracy's with their heavenly lies?
Bachmann, Palin - these two divine distractions -- do they ever go on the stump and rally the "buck-toothed" faithful on the ills of H-1B/student visa abuse and U.S. job outsourcing or their right to health care (Single Payer) and the sins of the medical insurance-industrial complex and getting out of Afghanistan? Of course not.

The thought of Bachmann going to North Dakota to deliver a sermon to a bevy of "all the jelly bismarks you can eat" enthusiasts makes the head explode.

Tad, yeah, I'll bet they were impressed, too. What was it she studied in college again? Did she earn a B.S.in Brown Nosing?

Melvin Toast said...

And a little about Lot . . . where do you think the Moab and Ammonite tribes came from?

2Truthy said...

Of course, the Moab and Ammonite tribes had God on their side and didn't need safety nets like Social Security and Medicare (like most godless heathens do) that Bachmann wants to gut.

What's that old expression again? "America gets the government it deserves"?