Friday, April 4, 2008

Obama Refuses to Veto the Pork

Pigsnout with Truffle Sauce


Why Obama Will Never Veto the Pork

Obama Eats Fancy Spanish Pig at Philadelphia Italian Deli

For Immediate Release

PHILADELPHIA – Oh Boy. Obama told a lie about eating a fancy Spanish pig in Philly.

The Washington Post smoked out Sen. Barack Obama as he ate the flesh of an innocent, well-heeled, black hoofed Iberian pig for lunch at the upscale ITALIAN MARKET in Philadelphia this week and everybody is asking “why” since he made a speech in Altoona about how he was a vegan! And how come Barack discriminated against populist pigs and only prefers the premium, fancy pantanegra with black hooves? Well, just because MY bacon may have been saved is little consolation. Now the question on everyone's minds is : "If Barack ever gets elected president, how could anybody expect him to tell the truth or to veto all the pork?"

Why Barack, couldn’t you have stopped at the salami or the goat cheese? It’s time to call Pastor Wright on Barack because here is the big, fat fib he told:

"Yes, I am now a vegan. From a personal perspective, it doesn't hurt that people of African descent are invariably lactose intolerant. I have long been an advocate of the less fortunate among us, of those who life has handed a crooked deck, the short end of the stick, an unfair deal. There are no Americans for who this is more true than the populations of our feedlots and industrial farms. It is time to end the exploitation of farmed animals on American soil. It is time to give up hamburgers as we have given up slave-holding. It is time for us to end our dependence on milkshakes as we must end our dependence on foreign oil. It is time to acknowledge that the fishing industry does damage to our oceans far beyond that of emissions from our coal burning power plants. I invite all Americans to join me in a bright future free of cruelty and exploitation, free of the blood of innocents killed only for our pleasure”.

I just returned from Spain where I traveled to the countryside of Salamanca, only to be chased by a scout from a well-known Iberian ham and sausage factory. My hosts, Armando and Dieter, were able to talk down the impertinent yet persistent badger so I managed to dodge that bullet.

If only everybody knew how much Iberian pig is overrated! They only get to eat acorns before they are mercilessly slaughtered and then sold for $99.00 lb. !!! But on the North Carolina pig farm where I grew up, we had a wonderful, varied and balanced diet because the farmer’s twins, Edith and Patsy, snuck us baloney sandwiches and Pringles and made sure our feed bags were NEVER without plenty of lemonheads. They say the montanera method (a diet of ‘acorns only’) creates less superfluous concentrated liquids and therefore more glucogen but I say “what a load of hooey.” Just because the black-hoofed Iberico wild pig wanders around eating only acorns, how is that supposed to be healthy? How would YOU like to spend your life eating only acorns?

Where is George Clooney? Why can’t he take up our plight to STOP the senseless bloodletting of our most intelligent, domesticated barnyard animal? It seems like nothing ever changes for the better until a famous actor like Angelina or George steps up to the plate.

Pigs are the new beef jerky and it’s time for everyone to unite and stop the madness.
Click on the above youtube video and watch how Bella was saved and visit to learn how you can help.

Oh, and don’t forget to ask yourself when you go vote in November: how much pork do we really need and why won’t Barack veto it all?

Adios Amigos!



Anonymous said...

Obama will say anything that sounds good at the time. I bet he was "vegan" ALL day, the day he gave that speech (or at least in public. Who knows what dish he ordered from room service when he got back to his 5 star hotel).

2Truthy said...

And why did he blow off meeting with teh Philly gays? What's he thinking?

Read Jim Newell's send up

Does Hillary have to do ALL the heavy lifting?

BF said...

Well done, old chop. All the superdelegates in PA couldn't convince me to eat that snout.