Thursday, May 29, 2008

Larry Craig's New Book: "Senate Seat or Toilet Seat"


Alleged Size 13 Loafer

A Larry Craig Dr. Seussian Tribute Goes Like This: "Better to have just Gone in for a Piss."


"Senate Seat or Toilet Seat
I cannot decide;
I am not gay
Oh no. No way."


Certainly, no one can accuse the Republicans of 'not having their shit together' when it comes to amassing a voting bloc of hypocrites—especially anti-gay gay, repressed voters and elected officials. Who can forget Senator Larry Craig's MSP airport bathroom bust for allegedly placing his size 13 loafer into the next bathroom stall? Click Larry Craig To Claim Sting Arrest UNCONSTISHOESONAL.
Now the official Larry Craig Bathroom Sting Manifesto is about to be released. Senator Craig told a local new screw (mistake – that’s news crew) “he doesn't consider the book an autobiography” and that “it would be a lens through which to look at a dysfunctional Congress.” So we decided to take a trip down memory lane and provide LWOH readers an exclusive Larry Craig revisited bathroom refresher from our official Larry Craig Chronicles that captured all the blow by blow details that brought down the Senator -- especially now since the race for Craig's Senate Seat tops the ticket in Idaho’s general election.

First, make sure to turn up the volume (click link here) and sing along to “In the Senate” (lyrics below.) After your done, don’t worry, because yours truly has provided some extra special and spooky, late night poetry reading for your entertainment, too! (click The Copper)






IN THE SENATE

by 2Truthy



Where can you go Horatio


To give a cop felatio


Search the world for blowjobs


Behind every bathroom stall


Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
In the can or on the sea


Where can you learn to lie


Play some footsie and jive


Study choosing toilet seats


Sign up for the Senate


Or sit in the grandstand


You’re not gay to tap your feet...
(Chorus)
IN THE SENATE
WE CAN DO WHAT WE PLEASE
IN THE SENATE
WE GET DOWN ON OUR KNEES
IN THE SENATE
IF YOUR PLANE’S RUNNING LATE
IN THE SENATE
FIND SOMEONE TO FELATE
IN THE SENATE
AND STILL GET TO THE GATE
IN THE SENATE
IN BETWEEN QUORUM CALLS
IN THE SENATE
WE GET BLOWN IN THE STALLS
IN THE SENATE
YOU CAN MAKE A QUICK CONNECTION
WITH AN OFFICER’S ERECTION
AND STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE IT TO YOUR PLANE
IN THE SENATE
YOU CAN SIT IN THE CAN
IN THE SENATE
WHERE YOU CAN JOIN YOUR FELLOW MAN
IN THE SENATE
WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH DEBATE
IN THE SENATE
FIND SOMEONE TO FELATE
IN THE SENATE
SAY YOU'RE STRAIGHT WHEN YOU'RE NOT
IN THE SENATE
JUST TRY NOT TO GET CAUGHT
IN THE SENATE
WHERE’S A STRAIGHT MAN TO GO
FOR A BLOW – BLOW – BLOW -BLOW!!!
-Very special thanks to the Village People-





-2Truthy


2 comments:

terremc said...

Genius tootroothy! Will all of his booksigning tours take place in airport bathroom stalls?

2Truthy said...

Could be, but who is going to buy this book?