Monday, March 10, 2008

William F. Buckley is Dead

Death of a Conservative Intellectual Elite
(Special thanks to the outrageously talented Lord Barkis Bittern)

William F. Buckley died a couple of weeks ago and I’m now getting around to paying my respects. (I’ve been a bit busy but since the guy’s dead, he won‘t be going anywhere.)

I just can’t say enough about the ultimate Blowhard’s BLOWHARD.

Not only did the pretentious, perfumed parlor snake William F. Buckley serve as a role model for the insufferable protégé David Brooks (a Deadhead who is too smart to otherwise channel the master and pontificate like the pompous ass he has sold himself out to be), but for anyone who ever wants to know what a pretentious and insufferable wealthy elite looks like, keep Mr. William F. Buckley forever tucked in your astral blackberry. Sure, the dapper Reagan worshipper traveled in intellectual circles, but he was always an elitist first -- righteously extolling and defending the smug and sanctimonious likes of flatworlder Tom Friedman to actually equating the right to abolish slavery with the ‘right’ to abolish a woman's right to abortion.

Known for his kind and gentle brand of conservatism and a profound aura of affectation, William F. Buckley occasionally, yet unwittingly flirted with buffoonery -- butchering the English language by using words out of context with hilariously searing levels of confidence and superiority. Buckley could make the intolerable pitch of fingers on a blackboard seem like a day at the Canyon Ranch Spa. Whenever intellectualism is tainted and/or co-opted by the long-arm of corporate ruling elites, a token amount of what could have been genuine and progressive is lost to the degenerate camps of sycophants and wannabes, removing from society yet another step on the ladder to the rarified air of an inner circle club of elites who bastardize and mangle everything from our media to our election process.

Although it has been said that Buckley may have been a conservative celebrity but there was a lot more to him than a bow tie and a sailboat”, he leaves the world with little for the plebes to feast on other than a gnawing glimpse at what the spirit of "community" must have looked liked during Czarist Russia.

Watching William F. Buckley prattle and waffle and shoot up his conservative talking points on Firing Line against Gore Vidal was entertaining and heads above Gunsmoke. Embracing conservatism, Buckley epitomized all that was comely for an intellectual who relished a good debate while he simultaneously served as a role model for what every aspiring oppressive opportunist could be, blazing the “I Got Mine” free-trade message that could be heard all the way from New Haven to New Delhi. (Admittedly, conservatives are not alone in delivering hubris and arrogant laced messages as liberals can all too often be found on this side of the gymnasium.)

Elitist William F. Buckley wore his wealth on his conservative, Hublot wrested sleeve. Sought after on the intellectual lecture circuit and TV talk shows to deliver subliminal messages of those mightier overlords, Buckley was the big words go-to-boy for his enablers who chased him to preach “The Cotton Mather Way” to the masses from his pulpit of conservatism.

As wealth has increasingly shifted up and away from the masses – even the educated ones --- the literary circuit media star Buckley ratified his colleagues and served his masters well. He left his carbon footprint so indelibly tracked into the mindsets of all aspiring frat boys and MBA’s who have hijacked what’s left of Corporate America, (where intellectualism is ironically discouraged) serving as a dubious role model for what success and “intellectualism” is supposed to look like. In our land of the free and home of the brave, one could do better than to be a swinger of birches like Buckley, who with intellectual zeal championed a “greed is good” free market economy while allowing himself to be co-opted by corporate anti-intellectuals and academics alike who perpetuate elitism.

So thanks a lot, William F. Buckley. You ‘could’ have been a contender, although you never would have made it to 2Truthy’s official “You’re Invited to my Party List” since you were anti-abortion and even questioned for one second the right for a black person to vote. Some say that in order for our fractured country to make progress there has to be a collective spirit of local community and humility as opposed to arrogance. You could have used your pulpit to bridge the divide. In these politically devolved and challenging times when the best that the global elite zeitgeist can offer on an election menu are corporate shills like Hillary, Obama and McCain, let’s “hope” that some divine intervention from above will trickle down from the heavens as our fast growing have and have not society is going to need all the help it can get.

I have always wondered: what does the “F.” stand for?



Samantha said...

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2Truthy said...

spamantha, we don't respond to spammy stuff at LWOH. too-do-loooo!

Androcass said...

I grew up a conservative with pretensions of intellectualism, and so, at a certain age, looked to the legendary figure of William Buckley as a guide. As I attempted to wade through mountains of turgid prose surrounding a meager point, I fell into cognitive dissonance. The guy just had nothing to say.

So you nailed it precisely, and all the Charlie Rose hours devoted to his wonderful greatness (without once mentioning any of his actual beliefs) aren't going to change that opinion.

2Truthy said...

androcass, thanks.
I really do hate it when smart guys like Charlie Rose become co-opted by the status quo, such as Wm. Buckley.