Tuesday, November 25, 2008

No More Hyphenated Americans!

(click on above caption to enlarge)

A Michigan Avenue Mel Toast Exclusive

Breaking News

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Melvin Toast, Leader of the League of Uncompounded Americans in Unison (LUAU), unveiled his organization’s new logo today at the Hilton and Towers Hotel in Chicago.

In a prepared statement, Toast assured his followers that, from this day forward, “Americans would no longer need to feel shackled to an ethnicity on one side and a nation on the other, lashed together by an unsightly gash of ink.” After rapturous applause, Toast shouted “Death to the hyphen!” and the assembled masses in the Hilton Grand Ballroom rose to their feet, cheering wildly for their leader, and the death of a centuries-old punctuation mark.



Citizen Carrie said...

Here, here! From here on out I'll drop my "WASP-American" designation.

2Truthy said...

I'll second that!

"Too-Truthy" is now free to pursue the liberated ambiguity of hereby marauding around teh internets as
"Too Truthy", forever banishing any questions as to marital status or social position, an Elizabeth Cady-Stanton moment in history.

(Mel: beware the emergence of the comma and its impending over-abuses with over-compensation.)