Did you know that this week, a bunch of kindergartners were denied their inalienable right to dress up in handmade pilgrim and Native American costumes to celebrate Thanksgiving? Well, even if you didn’t know, the important thing is that the kids were “oblivious, as they should be” to all of the angry parents, according to Superintendant David Cash who deployed the ban. Some of the parents were angry because the kids always get dressed up in “handmade pilgrim and Native American costumes” every year at the site of a decades-old Thanksgiving tradition in front of Condit Elementary School in Claremont, CA.
“After a handful of parents complained that the Native American headdresses and vests were demeaning, cartoonish stereotypes, the Claremont Unified School District eliminated the costumes from this year's festivities, but allowed the turkey feast to go forward.”
What a relief, that the Superintendent decided not to ALSO deprive the town’s precious cargo from eating lots of scrumptious turkey and dressing and pie that kids everywhere always love on this most wonderful of holidays where, for one official day of the year, all snickering is cast aside so that everybody, large and small, gets to feast on as much food as you can possibly stuff down the bumbershoot.
I am so happy Superintendent Cash made this wise decision to at least allow the kids to have their feast because if he didn’t, I would have had to forgo my Thanksgiving plans at 2Truthy’s house to drive down to Southern California to smoke him out:
Anyway, now he’s in a pickle, and he even had to call up the police to tell them he is receiving some nasty e-mails and fears for his safety. Well, let’s hope that next year, Superintendent Cash changes his mind and decides to DO THE RIGHT THING.
I have to go now and prepare for 2Truthy’s medicinal marijuana friends who are coming over today. They are supposed to be bringing “dessert” (code for Marin County’s finest ditch weed). I’ll be seated with the beagle and the cat at the animal’s table (code for the backyard) waiting for delicious scraps. Don’t worry, my plan is to wait until all of the unusually loud laughter over nothing dies down and everybody starts staring at the ceiling to offer my clean up services in the kitchen, where I can begin my handiwork under the radar. (After that, providing there’s any pie left over, I’m going to disguise my voice like John Wayne and make prank phone calls to Superintendent Cash’s house and say “You're a persistent cuss, pilgrim!” hahahaha, too.)
Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!