Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama's Oscar: POTUS

(Photo credits Joe Raedle/Getty Images North America)

Obama’s Historic Oscar: “POTUS”

Chicago, IL Adoring fans of Barack Obama cheered wildly last night as the presidential candidate, accompanied by his two adorable little girls and his agile wife, Michelle, who appeared in what one LWOH on-the-scene operative deemed “her black and red bumble bee Halloween costume” accepted the Oscar equivalent of the political world’s prized role, POTUS.

The jet-setting, Hollywood befriending POTUS award winner casually delivered his somewhat subdued acceptance speech in a flag covered and tented Grant Park where hundreds of thousands of audience ticket holders assembled to ring in the latest four year inhabitant to occupy the White House on Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington, DC. He was later joined onstage by magnanimous veep Joe Biden (who everybody whispers should have been the top dog) and his beautiful wife, Jill, wearing a stunning green, two piece suit along with their extended brood for the grand finale.

On this historic occasion of Barack Hussein Obama being the first black man ever to be elected as POTUS, a star-studded crowd including one Jesse Jackson, Sr., cried convulsively, raising speculation that those were either tears of elation or uncontrollable sobs of rage over him not being the guy up there taking home the POTUS roses. Also on hand was Chicago's own lime green clad Oprah, as she too, wept away tears of joy or relief or, whatevs while her special friend, Graham Stedman, wandered around in the background.

Widely considered to be tall, dark, and reflective, the exotic, multi-cultured Obama is known for his diverse and variable middle names and religions -- depending upon who he is speaking to or whose church or mosque he hangs out at. For instance, while shopping in a Dubai Gucci boutique, attendants might strictly refer to him as ”Barack Hussein Obama” whereas if gassing up at the Hyde Park Phillips 66 gas station, it would be nothing else but plain “Barry O.” (Sounds a lot like Caroline Kennedy’s late mother’s moniker after she married that rich Greek shipping magnate.)

As Politico’s Mike Allen reports today, Barry indeed has a big debt of gratitude to the Kennedy family for landing this POTUS gig. Not only is he considering a cabinet post for Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to head the Environmental Protection Agency, but he also is mulling around a U.S. ambassador stint for cousin Caroline.

Obama-Rhama? Huffington Post is reporting that Rahm Emanuel has already accepted the position of Chief of Staff, who might come in handy since not everybody has fathers with ties to the Zionist terrorist organization Irgun, which launched attacks inside Palestine against innocent Arab Palestinians during the 1930s and 40s. Could “the change we need” be an even more militant Zionist position in the Middle East?

Will Obama help U.S. citizens by stopping his tech lobby boot licking for more white collar job outsourcing/insourcing as he has committed to? See Citizen Carrie’s excellent article entitled “Indian IT News” for an account of Obama’s promises to kick American white collar professionals to the curb. Will Obama make mandatory health care availability to all (not just children) and refrain from using health care as an excuse to award billions of dollars in subsidies to Silicon Valley insider IT cronies to develop privacy invasive, wasteful and cumbersome technology?

Stay tuned to Losing the War on Humor for your ritualistic dose of “Change We Need” from the life and times of our brand new, Oscar winning POTUS. “If it weren’t for you, dear plebian, none of this would have been possible…”


1 comment:

Citizen Carrie said...

Under Obama, we'll be a lot worse off, but be a lot happier about it.