It’s Me, El Quincy.
HAPPY MAY DAY, EVERYBODY!
Just in times for Cannes, I decided to bite the bullet (I broke a tooth doing that so I hope nobody else ever tries this) and have a gastric bypass operation.
Sometimes you just have to get away from it all and go to Mexico and that’s why last week I flew to Cabo with Mr. and Mrs. Crisp on their fractional leased corporate jet. Mr. Crisp used to be a cargo pilot before he retired and you will never guess what happened.
Instead of flying in steerage, squeezed into a middle seat and sandwiched by appalled passengers who discriminate against pigs on either side of me and sometimes even worse -- in the cargo hold absolutely LOADED on Dramamine --- Mr. Crisp actually let me roam around in the cabin after take off and do you know what? I even got to steer the plane around for a whole hour while Mr. and Mrs. Crisp took a bathroom break (I’m not sure why they had to go in there at the same time because the bathroom is pretty small).
Anyway, Cabo is nice and warm and I can swim all I want and nobody seems to mind that I prefer to sunbathe au natural. Oh boy, was 2Truthy right when she told me to have my gastric bypass done in Cabo instead of San Francisco! It cost a whole lot less, plus I had the operation last Thursday and I already feel like a million bucks today. You can barely see the stitches and it didn’t even hurt because after Dr. Adolpho gave me a few tequila shots and put a gas mask over my entire snout, I didn’t know where I was for at least four days later. Viva fun Mexican doctors!
But since I have never, ever been to FRANCE (I vowed I would go to see Michael Moore’s new movie), my wardrobe choices are still American: Calvin Klein rules, but 2Truthy says I better take a serious look at finding a good pair of French rope cufflinks for my tux. Ooh-la-la!