Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Did Bill Clinton Fart in Our Face?


 "I did everything but fart in his face!"
-Former President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton

 Farting Around With Bill Clinton

 "Words matter!" Bill Clinton Says!  He's right. Just because white collar middle class jobs are being flushed down the Tech Lobby's cheap labor toilet, unemployment is kissing 20% and rising, more nuclear plants are being built, home foreclosures are on a roll, the militarization of local police (h/t Chris Floyd at Empire Burlesque) and practically everybody can't afford health care in the U.S., nobody has to go around blowing up stuff and packin' heat or passing  off  hot air in the media, either.

Clinton basically says that there are absolute nuts out there who might take what you say the wrong way, and so he is a little worried that everything you say makes people do what you say. People can even take what you say literally as well as figuratively, too. (Just like having somebody fart in your face.) Mostly, he's right except it kind of reminds me of the prominent biblical passage I am not my nutters' keeper. 

Remember when Bill Clinton got all snippy with journalist Bill Greider during his Rolling Stone interview when Greider asked him about the disastrous economic impact of NAFTA on America's working class where Clinton told him  "You are a faulty citizen. You don't mobilize or persuade, because you only worry about being doctrinaire and proud," and lumped him in with "bitchy and cynical" liberals"?  And then when Clinton later told Taylor Branch: "I did everything but fart in his face"? Well, Mr. David Sirota does,  here.

Our general policy at LWOH is not to go all scatological, but without any Adult Supervision around, I  can't help but recall the famous words of a famous former president (who 2Truthy voted for) who is now telling people to watch what they say. Do you think he is being too much like Mary Poppins, you know, like a Nanny Stater to stop free speech? Here is what he said:

"And I am not trying to muzzle anybody. But one of the things that the conservatives have always brought to the table in America is a reminder that no law can replace personal responsibility. And the more power you have and the more influence you have, the more responsibility you have."

It's a good thing I don't have any influence, or else I would be muzzled. Yuck. But Clinton has ACTUAL  influence, so what I want to know is why didn't somebody wash his mouth out with soap when he said that? (The last time I saw a horse get muzzled on my old North Carolina Pig farm, he hoofed Farmer Kenny in the nuts with such a wallop that he NEVER ever pulled that on the old mare again.) And just because the former president said he almost farted in Bill Greider's face doesn't mean he actually DID it, only now I am forever left with the image - possibly even more damaging to the whole blogosphere's collective psyche  than his horrible role in selling out U.S. white collar jobs to India. Anyway, in both cases, he should apologize and make every effort to clean up his potty mouth AND give the jobs back to U.S. citizens.

I mean, if some schizzy fat guy in New Jersey decides to pour gasoline on his old Buick and blow it up in his driveway and I wrote something last year about a creepy dream I had where some fat guy in New Jersey blew up his old Buick after pouring gasoline on it in his driveway, that bat-shit whacko's behavior is no reason to slam MY BACON.

OK, I'm going out bowling now with the Crisps. 

Have a great week, everybody!


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